Lowering the Bar for New Year’s Resolutions

2014 vs. 2015

As I wallow in the dregs of year-end (as I’m sometimes wont to do), I’ve been reviewing last year’s resolutions, scoring myself.

Overall I failed; but we’re all pretty stupid when we make these lists. If we actually believe them, that is, I mean, who am I kidding: as IF I’d ever be interested in playing video games or consider dating a woman who cheers during a hockey brawl.)

Not that I plan on giving up on New Year’s resolutions completely. The point is to better ourselves, right?

I will, however, lower the bar. Ten improvements are just way too many. This year I’ll keep it to five, and as a result only be half as depressed when I don’t meet them. I’m also going to repeat a couple of them (y’know, just because I didn’t pull them off in 2014 doesn’t mean I won’t get around to them sooner or later…)

Alright, here she go:

  1. I practically drink butter. That should be curbed.
  2. There are cupboards — the high ones, the ones that are out-of-reach without a footstool — that could use a scum-scrub.
  3. I still wouldn’t mind that tattoo.
  4. I have to dance more. I’d feel so much better.
  5. There’s absolutely no reason to have cobwebs dangling from my ceiling. It’s shameful, and disgusting. I’m hardly a student anymore.

Much more realistic, no? Do-able?

Wish me luck!

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(BTW — I did manage to get back to yoga. And I was slightly more tolerant of those who can’t spell. And I got an awesome blowjob in the washroom of a fancy restaurant — so 2014 wasn’t a complete bust!)

Happy New Year!  What’s on your resolution list?

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