Kicking the Tires on Dating Sites

Just Cuz I’m Online It Doesn’t Mean I Want You

“Argh, if only I had an orgasm for every message I open that says nothing more than ‘yo’.”

So says my friend, who rarely hooks up via online — but likes the option nonetheless. Her case is a good one, worth discussion:

Just because someone is online, or has an online profile, doesn’t mean they’re hunting for hookups. This friend, like many online users, is interested in more than just quick sex. Yet she — again, like many others — continues to get harassed by online trolls who feel entitled to hookup with her simply because… well… because she has a profile.

Allow me to enlighten you harassers by listing other possible reasons why profile-holders might be online and not want to hear from you.

Just for funzies. People sometimes go online as a fun way to pass the time, nothing more. They post/exchange pics, chat with other members, suss out potential hookups, or, let’s be honest here, simply to have fun surfing. And why shouldn’t they?

They’re already spoken for. People in relationships — open or otherwis e— will go online to live vicariously through others. Sure, it’s “spying” but as long as they don’t lead anyone on, then whatevs. They might also be trawling for threesome candidates. If so, it’s often a don’t-call-us-we’ll-call-you situation. Wait until you’re called.

Fussy pants. Most profiles won’t be a good match. That’s life. And people are allowed to be fussy about who they hook up with. You might think you’re special — and you just may be… for someone — but that doesn’t mean everyone thinks you’re special. If you get no response, move on.

It’s scary! Hooking up online takes some getting used to. If someone doesn’t have experience, they’re less likely to respond, either in a timely manner or at all. Nerves will do that. Be patient or be gone.

Pull that thang! Let’s be clear: some people use dating sites as a means of getting off. They have no intention of hooking up, but the idea of there being someone out there who’s interested can provide ample wanking fodder. Let these folks play with themselves in peace, would ya.  

No one owes you anything. Please keep your sense of entitlement in check.

But, word to the wise: if you insist on trying to get a response from an evasive profile-holder, be sure not to open with “Yo!”

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