So you met, then went back to her place for a much anticipated hookup. You were so into each other leading up to the moment, the sex was super hot, but now it’s over…
…and the atmosphere has changed. You can barely look one another in the eye and you have absolutely nothing to say. Do you go in for the cuddle? Do you quickly get the hell outta there? Awwwk-waaard!
I’m sure we’ve all experienced this scenario at some point. It’s not a lot of fun and definitely something to be avoided, unless, of course, doing so means no more casual sex ever! So what can we do to reduce those cringe-worthy after-sex moments?
Have Clear Expectations
Before you even get to the bedroom, talk a little bit about what you’re expecting out of the whole thing. Fill each other in a bit on your hookup style. Are you someone who enjoys cuddling and conversation after? Is she? Will either of you feel disrespected if the other heads for the door right away?
If it’s a one-night stand, this conversation is probably less important. For a regular hookup arrangement, however, you want to be sure to be on the same page, otherwise the end of your dates will always feel a bit strained.
Leave While You’re Ahead
Leaving just as soon as the deed is done can be the best option, particularly if it’s a one-time hookup. You both might appreciate doing away with the whole issue of how to behave after by doing away with the after part altogether.
Of course, leaving without any kind of goodbye can be considered a dick move. I would suggest at the very least that you leave a note to thank your date for a lovely evening, or thank her in person, if she’s not already asleep.
Get It On Before You Go Out
This one might sound a little odd but in my experience, it does work. If you and your fuck buddy are in the habit of meeting for a date before you go at it, try switching it up. Have sex first, then go out and satisfy the appetite you’ve both worked up. At least then when you part, it will be from the restaurant, not the bedroom.
It just feels a little more friendly to me. Going out after also provides an immediate change of focus, and a natural source of conversation.
Be Sure Neither of You Is Wanting too Much
One of the reasons things get awkward after sex is that someone is wanting something that the other person isn’t providing. Are you waiting for her to say something to make you feel better about yourself? Are you hoping to get your ego stroked? Are you hoping she’ll want to take things beyond the casual? If you aren’t, it’s possible that she is, which can make the whole casual sex thing a little tricky.
Be super clear about your intentions right from the start, and you should notice a decrease in those uncomfortable goodbyes.