Were you both in it for a one-night stand, but the sex was so great you can’t help but do it again? Sure, really hot sex is hard to walk away from, but it’s also conducive to developing feelings.
Do you want to transition to a regular hookup arrangement but aren’t sure how to do that without getting hurt? It can be a tricky thing to pull off, but with my advice, you’ll have a much better chance of success.
5 Tips for Regular Hookups
1. Set the Boundaries
Do the two of you want to be friends with benefits and nothing more? If so, be sure to really emphasize that. Have a little talk about what you both want to get out of things, and agree to be straight up with each other if you think expectations are shifting, or boundaries are being crossed.
Don’t just assume that she has the same ideas about what regular hookups signify. Brave the awkwardness and have the conversation early on.
2. Determine the Frequency
In the course of that discussion, talk about how often you want to meet up for sex. Once or twice a week? Two times a month? It might seem like a silly idea to restrict yourselves like that, or to be so practical about something that’s supposed to be so spontaneous, but setting a frequency is just an other way of managing expectations.
It sets things apart from a relationship in that your scheduling is contained and not allowed to develop into the increased contact that is typical of a romantic relationship.
3. Don’t Be Exclusive
Another way to keep things from becoming too serious as you move beyond one-night stand territory is to see other people. Even if you really aren’t seeing anybody else, it’s important to keep the possibility open.
You want to minimize the possibility that you’ll start to feel possessive of one another, and being non-exclusive is one way to do that. Keep things really casual. Don’t hang out a lot outside of the bedroom and don’t get too hung up about what she might be doing when you’re not around.
4. Keep Things Fun and Light
Don’t talk about heavy or emotional things. Just have sex. If you’re going through tough times, try not to use your hookup as a source of comfort. It’s best to halt things for a bit, then start up again when you’re feeling better.
The dangers of using your fuck buddy for sexual healing purposes is that you might come to develop deeper feelings for her. Association is a really strong force, so you want to keep it under control. Try to think of one another as a fun distraction rather than a saviour from misery.
5. Pay Attention to Your Feelings
If you find yourself struggling to maintain the boundaries of your casual arrangement, don’t ignore your feelings thinking that they will pass. They probably won’t, and you’ll only set yourself up for pain if you keep on going.
Regular hookup arrangements do tend to have expiration dates, so don’t be too shocked or saddened if you or your partner decide to put an end to things. It doesn’t hurt to move on and gain more experience in hooking up!