How to Hook Up with a Friend

Friendship is grand, is it not? In a world as harsh as ours, with all of its disappointments and demands, it’s nice to know that someone’s got your back. And what better way to offer a friend support than in the form of sweet, orgasmic relief?

I have had some of the best sex of my life with friends, so I can truly endorse the benefits of FWB hookups. I can also confirm that they’re not always seamless and that they require a few extra steps to ensure that they don’t fail miserably.

Here are a few tips, taken directly from my own life. Lucky for you, I’m an unapologetic friend-fucking harlot.

Choose the Right Friend

It’s essentially a three-step process: You need to find a friend who, A) wants to fuck you, B) you want to fuck, and C) you’re not secretly in love with.

An acquaintance is a better choice than a close friend, because you’re not as invested in the relationship if things go south. A word of warning: If you’re hoping for something deeper, don’t opt for a casual hookup thinking that you can ease your way into your friend’s heart. Life isn’t a romcom, and you’ll likely end up face down and sobbing on the bathroom floor.

Keep It Sexy

As soon as you and your friend decide that you’re ready to get physical, do it! Don’t try the whole, dinner and a movie thing. That’s too much like a date and not enough like the blistering-hot, casual sex arrangement you’re trying to pull off.

If you must go to the movies, be sure to spend all your time fucking in the bathroom, or (if you’re brave enough) in a darkened corner of the theater. Making it all about sex will help to keep those annoying things called feelings in check.

Keep It Confidential

Another thing to keep in check are your random conversations with friends. This is especially important if you and fuck buddy run in the same circles. Unless you’ve discussed it and decided that there are no limits on sharing the particulars of your arrangement, keep your mouth shut.

A breech of confidence could not only spell the end of all that good sex, but also of multiple friendships. If you can’t help but share, at least keep it anonymous.

Set an Expiry Date

If you’re worried about your ability to remain detached in the wake of all the orgasms you’re about to receive, try setting an end date for your arrangement. In my experience, two months is the magical amount of time it takes for things to feel strained, either due to boredom or gut-wrenching emotional turmoil.

If you don’t want to feel restrained by a time limit, agree to touch base after a set amount of time so that you can assess where things are at and decide if you want to continue. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with a one-night stand!

Don’t Let It Drive You Crazy

So it turns out that your penis is attached to your heart in ways you never expected and you just can’t maintain the neutrality that’s necessary for your FWB arrangement? That happens a lot. It’s a chance you take when you take anyone to bed, be it a friend of a complete stranger, and it’s something you can learn to accept.

You might never be that guy who can have meaningless sex, but you can let each of your experiences teach you what you can handle and what you want. You wouldn’t have learned that about yourself if you hadn’t fucked your friend, right? It just goes to show that no hookup is ever a waste of time.

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