Casual Dating

Hookups: Your Place or Mine?

Beautiful Woman Listening to her Date

Really, there are only about three significant considerations regarding where to have a one night stand:

  1. Safety/comfort level
  2. The cleanliness (or filthiness) of your place
  3. Controlling when the date ends

Let’s be realistic about safety: if you have any reason to doubt your safety before the hookup, then you probably shouldn’t be doing it in the first place. If your date is a psycho-nutcase, you certainly don’t wanna be dragged back to their lair; but nor do you want them knowing where you live. Should I choose to go to her place, here’s what I sometimes do:

  • I casually solicit the address during regular conversation and remember it.
  • On the way there, I pay close attention to the route.
  • If possible, I leave info at home detailing where I am… just in case I don’t make it back and my peeps have to come looking for me.
  • I covertly hide my wallet before the smooching starts.

If you do feel safe, all this a non-issue—unless you’re taking points 2 and 3 into consideration.

My place is usually a pigsty. If I meet a woman and the let’s-get-naked sparks fly, I’m not about to bring her back to my place if the bar of soap in my bathroom is covered in pubic hair and dust-bunnies. You get the idea. (BTW—By choosing to go to her place, I know I run the risk of walking into someone else’s pigsty, but it’s not unlike me to request fresh sheets. I can’t help it: I’m equipped to withstand my own filth, not a stranger’s.)

Instead I tend to err on the side number 3: going to her place so I can control when the date ends. When I’m ready, I can leave. Simple as that. It’s a one night stand, no obligations needed, and it’s over when someone goes home. I’d rather it be me. For whatever reason. If I want to stay longer, that’s cool, too. At least I’m in control of the choice.

But, really, any hookup is a risk in one form or another, isn’t it? Know your priorities and limits, and learn to trust your instincts.

And don’t take home—or follow home—anyone who admonishes public healthcare: those right-wing zealots are never to be trusted.

Read: Turn Your Place into Hookup Heaven

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