Casual Dating

Dating Tips for Separated Men

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Are you a newly separated man who is wondering how to meet women? Maybe you haven’t been on a first date in fifteen years? Dating is challenging for everyone, but if you’ve been out of the game for a while because you were (or still are) married then you could probably use a few solid tips to get you started.

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As someone who has dated separated men, some with children, I have advice that comes from experience.

Dating Tips for Separated (Still Married) Men

1. Use dating sites. If you haven’t been single for quite some time, you may be an online dating virgin. Not to worry because you probably have at least one friend who can guide you to the site that’s right for you. Maybe you want to meet someone kinky, so a niche site like BDSMdate.com would be a good fit.

2. Be honest on your dating profile. Transparency will help you find what you’re looking for faster and not waste anyone’s time. Put the important facts on your profile like how long you’ve been separated and if you have any kids. Even women who are only interested in hookups will appreciate this specific information.

3. Answer questions. Most women will have concerns about your separation, so do be prepared to be forthcoming about your situation. She may wonder about custody if you have children, why things ended, and whether you or your spouse have filed for divorce.

4. Keep ex-talk to a minimum. This is always a no-no for both men and women on dates because it invokes insecurities and comparisons in your potential partner, casual or serious. The more you mention your ex, the more your date will question your intentions and readiness for dating. She will worry that she is either a rebound or a fill-in before you go back to your wife.

5. Deal with your issues on your time. You have baggage, and your suitcase may be overflowing, but don’t burden your date or new partner with too much too soon. It’s important to share what’s going on, but know that she also has her own stuff she’s dealing with separately.

6. Be discreet. When you’re re-entering the dating scene after a prolonged period, you don’t always know what you want. You may just be excited to sow some wild oats, or maybe you want another serious partner. Either way, your ex and your children don’t need to know anything unless a serious relationship evolves.

7. Use protection. Carry condoms on every date because you never know. You may not be expecting to hook up, but in today’s culture, many women are cool with casual sex. And who needs more baggage when you’re a recently separated man, right?

Are you returning to the dating scene? Share your experiences in the comments!

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