We live in a hookup culture that doesn’t feel ashamed of enjoying casual encounters and engaging in relationships and arrangements that revolve around sex. I love it. When I was younger, it was frowned upon to enjoy sex for sex’s sake.
Just as many women want no-strings-attached hookups as men now. Some of my fondest sexual memories were one night onlys. Would I have liked to have continued on with some of those? Perhaps a few, but sometimes what makes the experience so special is the perfect capsule in time it creates.
Let me just add that you can’t really plan a one night stand. The very nature of the event is tied to it’s spontaneity. Usually both participants were just out enjoying themselves when stars aligned and bodies melded. It happens, it really does!
So what tips would I offer for one-night-stand magic? Here’s a few.
7 Tips for a True One Night Stand
1. Be Open to the Possibility
If you judge your friends’ wild casual flings, you may be secretly craving one yourself. Sometimes our own feelings about a casual lifestyle can prevent our secret longings from actually going down. Put yourself in situations where you’ll meet casual partners. Tag along with a friend who you know enjoys casual hookups or join a dating site that caters to casual encounters.
2. Find Partner Far from Home
Some of my most fantastical one night stands have happened on vacation. Something about being far from home, in a strange land full of beautiful strangers just inspires. I didn’t mind falling prey to the hot foreigners who were looking to show women a good time. Flirt with the locals who may offer to show you around, and then some!
3. Don’t Plan It that Way
If it’s meant to be just one night, then that’s the way it will be. Always be honest in your online dating profile about what you’re looking for and your current relationship status. Believe me, women would rather you say you just want sex, than to be feel lured into a date with the possibilities of more. We like a direct approach from men, no matter what you want.
4. Be Prepared to Please and Pleasure
A one night stand goes all the way, and usually both partners don’t hold back because they realize for whatever reason that they likely won’t see each other again. Maybe they’re on a break from their current relationship or maybe they’re polyamorous and enjoy flings here and there. I’ve always felt more uninhibited with total strangers than with familiar men who I’ve been dating for a while.
5. Don’t Ask for Her Details when It’s Over
Of course, she may offer her number, but if you want a clean break, just go stealth into the night or roll out of bed early and call a cab. Most women enjoy some cuddling, but it’s okay to not stay the whole night if you’re at her place. Definitely don’t overstay your welcome.
6. Show Your Gratitude
Part of a fantastic memory is knowing how much your hookup enjoyed themselves, and orgasms speak volumes, but sharing your feelings is like the icing on top.
7. Be Discrete
Hey, I get it, sometimes you want to scream your conquest from a mountaintop when it’s gloriously satisfying. But discretion is important not only for maintaining a good dating reputation, but also for keeping that chance of a future hookup open (some of us like to break the rules!) She’ll keep you in mind, and maybe in her little black book, if she knows you’re each other’s little secret.
What if you just can’t stop thinking about that one night stand the day after, the next month, or years down the road? Reach out, but only once… if she’s interested or curious, she’ll respond.
Have you had an unforgettable one night stand? Please share in the comments!