Are people still going to bars to meet potential partners or even just to hook up? I’m sure some do, but almost everyone I know uses online dating sites to find what they’re looking for.
I’ve got six years of online dating experience, but that’s still far less than most of my friends. I was late to the game because I was anxious and worried about how to write a dating profile or even how to message back and forth with complete strangers.
After a year or so I began to appreciate the benefits of online dating, but I also realized that there are inherent problems like burnout and unwanted attention.
Just like any number of things that can cause stress in our lives, it’s important to practise self-care.
6 Self-Care Tips for Online Dating
- Ignore negative messages. Some dating sites only allow messages to go through if both members show interest, but not all. Just like trolls on social media, it’s best not to engage with people who spout crap, no matter how much we are tempted to. Use the block feature, and report members who you think have gone too far.
- Talk to friends about your experiences. My girlfriends were a lifeline when I joined my first dating site. They helped me set up a profile, choose profile pics, and browse for potential dates. They even helped me read between the lines to spot red flags a newbie like myself couldn’t see.
- Put yourself first and be up front. You don’t have to feel bad about being honest when it comes to connecting with women online. No one wants their time wasted, so if you receive a message from someone who doesn’t quite click for you, you don’t need to respond. This also goes for first dates, when the night is over and you realize the chemistry wasn’t there. Be polite and move on.
- Lower your expectations. I like to use this approach in many areas of my life to prevent unnecessary disappointments. Truth is, online dating is easier for women in general, so you may have to send out a lot of first messages to get one response. This is why it’s so important to read women’s profiles and put the effort into crafting a kick-ass first message that stands out.
- Pursue your passions. It’s easy to get caught up in the world of online dating, and sometimes forget to nurture and expand our horizons, especially if you’re drawn to dating drama. Remember, self-awareness and a desire to grow in all areas of your life is very attractive to women.
- Take breaks when you need them. Whether it’s because you’re not getting many responses, or you’ve been on a string of dates that haven’t amounted to anything, there’s nothing wrong in logging out to re-energize and reorganize. When you do dive back in, think about refreshing your profile to reflect any changes in your life andwhat you really want in that moment.
How do you cope with the ups and downs of online dating? Please share with us in the comments!