Sexting is a great way to connect and build anticipation pre-hookup, but it requires finesse. Not all women are comfortable with being so overtly sexual, and even if they are, the vibe can change in an instant.
If you’re not paying attention, you might fail to notice that your sexting partner has had her fill, making you look like a pushy ignoramus with only one thing on his mind.
Here are signs that the sun has set on your sextravaganza, and that it’s time to talk about something else… at least for now.
She Stops Responding
There are many possible reasons why your sexting partner has dropped out of the conversation. She could be busy with work, or with some other equally demanding aspect of her life. Maybe she’s tired of all the sexy talk and wants to cool it for a bit.
No matter what the circumstance, silence on her end is not an invitation to amp up the volume on your sexts. Sexting is fun—I get it—but there is a time and a place for it. Just because you’ve exchanged a few steamy texts doesn’t mean she wants the conversation to focus exclusively on sex from here on out.
She Tries to Change the Subject
Some women are too polite to drop out of a sexting conversation, even if it makes them uncomfortable. Instead, they might try to shift the subject to something more neutral in hopes that you’ll take the hint.
Pay attention to how your partner responds to your advances. Is she matching your tone and intensity, or has she backed off and introduced other topics into the mix? Don’t get so caught up in your horniness that you fail to notice changes in the conversational vibe.
She Takes Forever to Reciprocate
If you started out rapid-fire sexting but things have slowed down to the point where she’s reciprocating super infrequently, you might want to ease up on the sexting throttle.
The fact that she hasn’t ghosted you means that she’s probably into you. She could be struggling to match your red hot enthusiasm, or biding her time waiting to see if you come in any other flavor besides spicy. Either way, she’s clearly not into sexting with you right now.
She Says She’s Shy or Uncomfortable
This is polite-girl code for fuck off. She wants you to stop sexing her immediately and maybe even forget her number. “Shy” offers a more hopeful outcome than “uncomfortable.” It means that she wants to give you the chance to redeem yourself by softening your approach. By the time she’s grown uncomfortable, it might be too late to turn it around.
Don’t just tell her to relax in hopes that her shyness will pass. This will set up a red flag that screams, “He doesn’t listen or respect my feelings!” The best thing you can do is apologize for coming on too strong, then change the topic of conversation.
She Asks You to Stop
Playing hard to get is not as common as you might think. If a woman tells you to stop doing anything of a sexual nature, take her at face value and stop immediately! You might think that sexting is just an intensified form of flirting, but it can be considered sexual harassment if done without consent. This doesn’t just apply to the more hardcore sexts like dick pics, but to any text that references sexual acts or your partner’s body.
Be respectful and always remember that your sexting partner is a real person, not some state-of-the-art Fleshlight with fingers and a smartphone.