There are lots of good reasons to be as considerate, respectful, and honest in casual hook-up relationships as you are in pursuing long-term ones. Women talk, and you want them to speak fairly and highly of you whether your hookups are hot or ho hum.
While every guy thinks women talking about them are bragging about, or belittling, your dick size or your wallet size or how hard you are, we’ve actually got other things on our mind.
What Women Talk about When They Talk about Men
1. How Reliable You Are
Yawn, right? So much for juicy gossip. But seriously, if you call when you say you will, don’t cancel or waffle a million times, don’t exchange our date in when someone blonder and thinner asks for that time slot, and tell us truthfully whether you’ll be calling again or not… that’s the kind of thing we brag about.
Conversely, if you called only when it suited you, expected us to cancel work or plans for hook-up sex whenever you got an erection, slept in and didn’t bother to text an explanation while we waited for an hour in the cafe, well, my friend, word gets around.
2. How You Talk about Other Women
We know you mean to make us feel special when you mention how heinous your ex-girlfriend is or how unattractive you found your last casual encounter. By comparing us favorably against someone who was a turn off, we should conclude we’re sexy and fun to be with.
Here’s the thing: how you talk about other women is our number one clue to how you treat women in general. We know full well we’re the flavor of the day, but what about when we’re not? What you say about your ex or other casual dates tells us everything we need to know about whether you really love women or only love us when we’re convenient and a novelty.
We KNOW women can be liars, two-faced, moody, fickle, tired, bitchy, jealous, and everything else you might mention about the last girl. We ARE that girl, too, on our bad days. We have no delusions that women are saints. So nothing you say about her is news to us. We talk about how you talk, because what you say shows us how much you see women as complex human beings or as disposable playthings.
3. Great Sex vs. Ho-Hum Sex
With our very best girlfriends we do indeed get into the nitty gritty of who did what to whom, and how hot it was. So yes, stuff like cut or uncut, how many orgasms, what you look like, and what kind of cunnilingus or sex positions you did CAN come up in conversation.
For the most part, though, relax, we talk in general terms. We don’t have time to run through the ins and outs of every encounter and don’t want to relive it blow by blow over and over—dating and sex are part of our lives but so are other things, and we don’t give detailed descriptions to every friend from the office about our trip to the library or what we did at Mother’s.
A rule of thumb is that only the truly remarkable encounter, whether fantastic or horrible, is going to get detailed airplay later. So that’s either good news for you, or entirely avoidable and under your control.