So, you and your lover have decided to have a threesome. Congratulations!
The threesome is among the most common fantasies. Finding a third for a threesome is an exciting journey for couples on the way to realizing this steamy, delicious fantasy.
If you’re a couple looking for a partner for a threesome, you may not be sure how to go about it. Should you ask a hot and horny friend to join you? Should you call a chummy ex? Are you looking for a man or woman, or are you open to anyone? Will you find another woman for a threesome at a nightclub or party? Should you find a third for a threesome online? How will it all work?
Read: How to Ask Your Girlfriend for a Threesome
While finding someone for a threesome can feel daunting, it’s no more or less challenging than finding someone to date in any context. And it can be a sexy journey together as a couple, as anticipation builds. All of the time and energy you put into finding a threesome partner is also a bonding experience for you as a couple.
6 Ways to Find a Third for a Threesome
1. Find Someone You already Know
There are pros and cons to having threesomes with your friends, so make sure you consider those together carefully before you mine your contacts to find a threesome partner.
You or your partner may have a friend that one or both of you are quite attracted to already. Is there someone who has made it clear they would be interested in sex with one or both of you? There are possibilities here for approach and negotiation!
Perhaps wiser is to look at your friends and contacts for people who are reliable and stable who are also sexually adventurous and open minded. If you know that someone has enjoyed threeways in the past, this might be a good place to find a third for threesome. If you know someone who is polyamorous or enjoys swinging, there’s the possibility they would be interested in a threesome.
Don’t assume that someone who is discreet or private is not interested in threesomes or sexual adventures. Everyone has sex, and often those with the most exciting sex lives don’t broadcast it. It may not be their style or they may prefer discretion. If you have honest intuition (as opposed to just lust!) that a particular person might be up for it, it may be worth approaching them with a proposition. Tread carefully, of course!
Read: How and Where to Meet Kinky Women
2. Call One of Your Exes
Some relationships break off but sex continues afterwards, in between other lovers, or on a friends-with-benefits basis when both are available. You may even sleep with someone you used to date more seriously if you are polyamorous. Or one of you may have an ex who you know wants to continue to be involved sexually, given the option.
Again, this can be very complicated, and lots of poly people have “no exes” as a boundary or rule.
But one size doesn’t fit all. There are different kinds of connections and an ex you or your partner still sleep with, would sleep with or simply just trust, may be a great contact in your quest to find a partner for a threesome.
Read: How to Hook Up with an Ex
3. Attend Sexy Parties and Nightclub Events
If you are looking for sex or identify with (or are exploring) a particular sex culture like swinging or different fetishes, it makes sense to go to parties for people who are interested in pursuing the theme.
It doesn’t have to specifically be a find-someone-for-a-threesome” event—related themes like swinging, group sex events, or kink parties may all have lots of people who feel “the more the merrier.”
Read: Sex Club Tips for Your First Time
4. Be Open about the Open Door
One way to be on the radar of anyone open to threesomes is to be candid about the fantasy and desire to find a partner for a threesome.
If no one knows you’re looking for a threesome, how can they find you if they are looking too?
This option isn’t always feasible, and it’s not for everyone. But some of us live in very evolved communities that are open minded. At the very least, it might be okay to be frank in certain circles.
5. Hire an Escort
Although there is an unnecessary stigma attached to sex work, even in sex-positive circles, hiring a sex worker to fulfill your fantasies is one of the least complicated ways to find a third for a threesome. You are able to negotiate exactly what all three of you agree on, and proceed without emotional complications or roadblocks.
Many sex workers enjoy their work and can offer a fun, no-strings arrangement. This option might not be as spontaneous as some others, but it’s one way to find a woman (or another man!) for a threesome.
Read: Should You Hire a Sex Worker?
6. Use Threesome Dating Sites Online
If you and your wife or you and your boyfriend are looking to find a partner for a threesome, the best of all the options is probably online dating. There are lots of threesome dating sites you can try.
The benefit of threesome dating sites is that you are navigating niche sexual interests and looking for and among people who share your fantasies and desires. You will meet lots of potential partners looking to find someone for a threesome.
Searching for a third online can be really fun—navigate messages with your partner, chat with people looking to find a threesome, and enjoy the experience with like minded people who want what you want.
Read: Find Bisexual Women for Threesomes
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