Just the Tips

How and Where to Meet Kinky Women

Woman Biting Blindfolded Man

Are you looking to hook up with a kinky vixen who will treat you like the boy slut that you are? Do you want your date covered in leather and lace? Got a thing for nipple clamps, rubber dresses, pegging, or cock and ball torture?

If you’ve found your casual sexcapades have been too vanilla to satisfy your itch, you’re doing it wrong. Kinky women are everywhere, and not hard to find.

Tips for Meeting Kinky Women

Finding kinky women is easy, but finding a match for your fetish is harder.

Yes, there’s a difference. Lots of men have very specific fetishes, some entirely gender specific to men. Very few women, for example, have a fetish for men’s feet, but foot lust is so common with men that it’s not even kinky. If you have a niche fetish, you might not find a female cohort who gets off on it. The best you can hope for is someone willing to indulge your pleasure.

On the other hand, women who are sexually adventurous, experimental, and into broader categories of kink are everywhere. A large percentage of us is into BDSM—role playing, power play, bondage, exhibitionism, and more. If your sexual interest can fit into one of these categories, that’s where you should look.

Your best bet is transparency, not surprise.

Don’t show up for a casual encounter in torn fishnet stockings with a twelve-inch strap-on for her. If that’s the kind of sex you want, you have to say so from the start. Don’t throw your kink at her during sex, and don’t be shy about using your online dating profile to ask for the kind of sex you want.

Don’t waste your time or hers by gambling on a kinky match. If it’s important to your sexual encounters, say so in order to find the right women.

Respond to kinky profiles on dating sites, or join niche sites.

Don’t complain that the women you’re meeting for sex aren’t into piss play, Japanese rope bondage, or bukkake scenes if you’re getting together with vanilla profiles. There are special interest and broad kink dating sites like FootFetishDating.com or BDSMdate.com for every conceivable connection.

Women who advertise themselves as dominant, submissive, or looking for threesomes or humiliation are already looking for the same things you are. Oh, and handle sexual sexual rejection with grace—always.

If you’re really attracted to a vanilla woman, be grateful for the sex you have.

If you choose to have sex with a vanilla woman because you are super attracted to her, don’t make it all about you, all about more or going further. Enjoy the time you spend with her for what it is, and the opportunity to get into her pants. Don’t berate her because you are looking for a different kind of sex.

Just as I rail against kink shaming, I don’t like the reverse. People are wired differently. If you’re not sexually compatible, you have two options: stop hooking up with her, or hook up with her and enjoy the experience for what it is.

Be observant around the women you meet in person, or be direct.

The women you meet at softball practice, the local pub, or company parties might be kinky. Jewelry, T-shirts, and tattoos might provide the clues you need, and her social media posts, pics, and tweets may also have subtle reveals. You can always ask, but don’t be a creep. “Any significance to your tattoo?” works much better than “Do you like to be tied up?”

Are you into kinky women? Where do you meet them? Please share in the comments!

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