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How to Ask Your Girlfriend for a Threesome

Woman on Top of Man during Foreplay

You might be surprised to find out that the difference between having a threesome and not having a threesome is not your girlfriend, but your approach.

Here’s how to ask your girlfriend for an FFM threesome, and how not to ask. And once your lady is on board, you’ll be able to enjoy the best threesome dating sites together.

How to Ask Your Girlfriend for a Threesome

Don’t make assumptions about her desires or fantasies.

You might naturally assume that a woman who is fairly chatty about girl-on-girl affairs and other spicy encounters is open for everything, and that the silent type who seldom clues you into her past romps is not adventurous. But still waters run deep.

A woman who is secure in her sexuality might be a discreet person, and the girl who talks about having been everywhere might be looking to land one on one and stay there. Personalities, fantasies, and needs are diverse and always changing.

The best way to know what a woman wants is to ask her honestly about her desires and curiosities.

Showing her how much you’re into her is the best plan.

Indicating that you are bored or that your attraction to her is waning—that you want to “spice things up” or add “variety” is a sure way to a big fat NO.

If you’re not grateful for what she shares with you, she won’t want to give you more.

Don’t position the threesome as a gift for you, or a special concession.

Again, this reads as if sex between you is now boring and not special. If you are wanting “more” her desire will wilt, trust me. Bring up any fantasies and requests as ways of sharing desires and having experiences together.

Bringing up a hot girl you want won’t help.

If you’re really just hoping for permission to fuck someone else, or if that’s how it comes across, do you really think she’s going to want to BE THERE while that happens? If your girlfriend is turned on by the idea or curious about finding a bisexual woman for a threesome, let her make suggestions about women she’d like to approach with you.

Frame the picture as the two of you making love with a stranger or a woman she is attracted to, not as you having sex with two women.

Approach it as a fantasy, not as a save-the-date imperative.

Ask her whether it would be fun to explore a threesome together “someday” rather than pointing to a hot chick and asking about tomorrow night. You want to keep the pressure off, and let the idea build excitement in her mind.

Make it clear that you want to be on the same page.

You don’t want a tug of war—you want a threesome, and she doesn’t. You want to be on the same page. In any conversation about a threesome, make sure she feels equal and central to planning or talking it out.

“Watching you explore your fantasies about women could be really exciting for us as a couple, if that’s something you want too,” can work like a charm.

Let it be her idea.

The best approach of all is when it’s her idea. Any time she opens up about her fantasies, be supportive and let her know how hot you find her desires. Ask her to share those dreams with you in bed when she brings them up, experimenting with role play or dirty talk, and let her know you’re open to indulging her if she wants to take it to the next level.

Have you had a threesome with your girlfriend? How did that come about? Please share in the comments!

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