Q: Dear Holly. I’m recently separated from my wife and was encouraged by a female friend to try online dating. It was nerve wracking at first, but I’m getting the hang of things. I’ve been on three dates with three women. Problem I have is that I can’t seem to keep them interested beyond one date. Is there something I’m missing. What’s the trick to making a good first impression? – Brad
A: Hi Brad. Online dating is the best way to meet women, and it allows you to go at your own pace. With three dates under your belt, it sounds like you’re getting the hang of things already.
If you aren’t into one night stands or friends-with-benefits arrangements, online dating is still my number one recommendation for finding a relationship. The first date or first impression is everything. Women who are also looking for something more serious will be taking mental notes from the first moment you meet.
Tips to Keep a Woman’s Attention… Beyond One Date
Be a man with a plan. Call me old fashioned but I like it when a man takes the time to think about doing something special on a date. It doesn’t have to be fancy and expensive, just thoughtful. Use her profile to garner ideas… she’ll be impressed that you’ve tailored a date to her interests.
Show up on time. Maybe this seems obvious, but it’s happened to me and my gal pals so often that I have to mention it. Tardiness makes a woman think you don’t value her or her time. Try to time it so you get there a few minutes early if possible.
Ask lots of questions. A woman needs to know you’re interested in who she is as a person, not just if you want to sleep with her. Ask about her interests, her passions, her pets, her family… and ask her to expand on things she brings up.
Listen attentively. Some men ask all the right questions but don’t really listen. Eye contact is the best way to show her that you’re keen. When you really become conscious of making eye contact, you will feel the difference in connection… and so will she.
Stay fun and flirty. First dates can make even the most confident daters feel anxious or act out of character, so do your best to be in the moment. Focus on having fun, and flirt if you’re feeling a connection.
If the chemistry just isn’t there, then move on. But if there is any interest, these tips will help garner you a second date.
Hookup Help is a Q&A series. If you want advice or a female’s perspective on hooking up, online dating, relationships, or sex… we want to hear from you. SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION, and who knows, you may appear in the next Hookup Land newsletter. -xo Holly