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Women to Hook Up with before You Die

Rock Star in Stilletos

Maybe you always find yourself chasing the same type of woman, and it never being quite as fulfilling as you would like. Check out these different types that might be just the right fit.

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The Marilyn Monroe

Movie star glamour, silk gloves, diamond sparkle, and those soft and endless curves. The Marilyn Monroe is that most wholesome of sex symbols, smart, pretty, vulnerable, and sewn into her long dazzling gowns. She is old fashioned in all the best ways, and still entirely her own woman.

The Rock Star

You might not want to date a rock star. She’ll always take centre stage, and probably has a long list of neuroses.

But who hasn’t fantasized about Lita Ford or Joan Jett whipping your ass? Those tight jeans, those leather boots, those kohl-rimmed eyes and red lips. Oh, yes, please, trash me tonight.

The Yoga Instructor

Yes, there was a Seinfeld episode about hooking up with a gymnast, and it didn’t turn out to be the mind-bending event Jerry was hoping for.

But that’s a risk you’re willing to run, because the promise has potential: the possibility of impossible contortions, endless flexibility, and supersonic stamina.

But there’s even more to this package deal of a night. The yogi is able to bend and move every which way, but she’s also a megadose of sweet, spiritual, sensuous sensuality. Open your mouth and say om.

The Larger-than-Life Diva

If your fantasies often turn to the more rotund circles, you’re not alone. Type in “BBW” or “fat sex goddess” or any other variation on the theme and you’ll be inundated with devotees desperately seeking size queens. Give me a whole lotta love!

A big girl has a healthy appetite. Enough said.

The MILF

Whether a soccer mom with high-waist, pale denim jeans, or the other kind who wears black nylons and red blouses, unravelling the woman of a certain age is a notch you definitely want in your belt.

There’s all kinds of insight into the MILF phenomenon, analyzing it from every angle conceivable, but for me it’s pretty simple: family and motherhood is incredibly sexy because it’s the natural progression of sex.

The outdated idea that mothers are untouchable is far more prudish than any of the vixen moms I know.

If you’ve fantasized about Stiffler’s mother… or Whistler’s mother, for that matter, make it happen. Tonight.

The Sexy Librarian

Did you ever undress in your mind that staid, sensible librarian type, that shy girl who signs out your books and has a cardigan for every conceivable hue of the rainbow? Did you wonder if she’s a wildcat off the books?

I don’t know about you, but the maddeningly chaste, proper babes give me more orgasms when I’m solo than all of the hottest adult film stars. I know that everyone has another side to their story, and it’s one I can’t stop from running through my dirty mind.

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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