The ability to cold approach and hook up with random women has long been considered the ultimate test of male sexual prowess.
“We met in line at the grocery store, and I was balls deep before the ice cream even melted.” I get the allure of such stories. You’re horny and surrounded by attractive women everywhere you go. Can’t you just pick one and fuck her?
Not really. Here’s why the cold approach to dating is doomed to fail.
4 Reasons NOT to Approach a Woman Cold
1. Cold Approaching is Invasive
If you’ve never been asked out by strangers in public, you might think it’s the highest form of flattery. My hotness radiates so intensely that mere mortals can’t resist coming on to me! What you don’t understand is that after the first few times, being approached so brazenly and without warning can feel tiresome, and in some cases like an invasion of privacy.
Remember, you don’t know what the woman you’re about to hit on is going through in her personal life, or what events preceded your approach.
2. It Can Feel Threatening
Being a woman feels scary sometimes. I get an unpleasant knot in my stomach whenever some random dude starts chatting me up on the bus, and that’s because I have no way of knowing if he’s going to retreat when I turn down his advances or get more aggressive. Honestly, I’ve seen it go both ways, and chances are, the woman you’re hoping to impress has too.
From your perspective, you’re striking up a friendly conversation in hopes that it turns into a date. In her eyes, you’re a potential problem she needs to escape from.
3. A Cold Approach Puts Her on the Spot
What if you ask her out and she says no? As mentioned above, some men have fragile egos that don’t hold up well to rejection. Add to that the social pressure of having other people around to witness the letdown, and things could get awkward.
If she’s frightened and uncomfortable with confrontation, she might simply ignore you. If she’s feeling safe enough, she might politely decline (or tell you to fuck off and leave her alone). Either way, it puts her in a position to have to make you look like a fool and nobody wants that.
4. It’s an Act of Desperation
Honestly, in this day and age there’s no need to resort to things like cat calling, or the cold approach. Use online dating sites like a civilized human being or get to know women through community involvement and shared interests. Hell, go to the bar or club if you insist on getting dates the old-fashioned way!
Men who approach women randomly in public might as well be carrying huge red flags around with them. Are you really that hard up that you can’t put even an ounce of effort into wooing someone properly?
If you really want to explore an easy way to hook up with new women, I suggest you do what the rest of us do and try dating sites specifically for people looking to get laid. You can find the sites that work for readers here at Hookup Land in our post: Best Casual Hookup Sites.
Have you approached a random woman out of the blue? How did that go for you?