Despite the title of this post, I’m not going to teach you how to flirt. There are so many web sites out there that make flirting with women seem like a game, or a formulaic equation.
The truth is, flirting is simple. It mostly involves being a nice person, being respectful, and paying attention. You don’t have to trick a woman into sleeping with you, or corrode her self-esteem enough to make it happen—that’s extremely gross, and so unnecessary.
Make Her Laugh
Help her to relax. Tease her a bit, but don’t go too far with it, or you’ll find yourself in negging territory, otherwise known as Douchelandia. Make fun of yourself more than you do anything else, as this will prove that you’re secure and witty.
Keep your humor tasteful, and if you notice her cringe or retreat into her phone, pull up on the throttle. The key is subtlety. Any action done too desperately in an attempt to impress, is going to make your date feel uncomfortable.
Listen More than You Talk
Don’t be in a rush to tell her how amazing you are. Listen when she talks, and ask questions! Show her that you’re paying attention and that you care about what she’s saying. The worst thing you can do is talk over your date or get so caught up in how you’re coming across to her that you don’t even hear what she’s saying.
As she’s talking, try to make a mental note of the things that mean a lot to her. Referencing these items later on will signal to her that you’re interested.
Notice and Respond to Her Body Language
It’s always best to take your cues from her. If she’s feeling you, she’ll probably exhibit a few key signs. She might sit closer to you or touch your arm. If you want to show her that you’re into her too, just go with it.
Take her hand if the moment presents itself or rest your hand on the small of her back as you’re leaving the restaurant. Try to match the vibe of whatever signals she’s giving you. This will suggest to her that you’re on the same page.
Be Subtle about It
Less is more when it comes to flirting with a woman. She can usually tell early on in the evening if you want to bone her, so she doesn’t need you to drill the point home. Avoid using explicit language, unless she starts it. You can drop a few hints by telling her how sexy she looks, but don’t go so far as to tell her what you want to do to her in the bedroom. While that can be a fun conversation, she probably wants to get to know you a bit first.
Of course, every woman is different and she might be down with sharing her fantasies on the first date, just don’t expect that of her, or try too hard to make it happen.
What do you think? Have you had success with flirting and want to share additional tips? Leave a comment!