Is She Into You or Is She Just Being Friendly?

It’s an all too common scenario: You meet a lady and she smiles at you. You have a conversation and the whole while you’re thinking, She must really want me to fuck me. She’s paying all this attention to me and being so nice. Your mind wanders and you get all excited about the prospect of getting with her, but before you make a move and potentially embarrass yourself, you need to stop and think about the particulars of the situation. Sometimes women are friendly just because circumstance or common courtesy calls for it, not because they’re into you. Here are a few examples of when that might apply.

She’s at Work
This is especially relevant if her job involves customer service. You need to remember that the lady you so desire is getting paid to be nice to you. She doesn’t have a choice because it’s her job. Don’t be that guy who puts her in the awkward position of having to reject you. It’s uncomfortable to have to do that under any circumstance, but most especially at work. It’s easy to see the difference between professionalism and flirtation if you observe the way she behaves towards everyone else in line ahead of you. Also, think about the jobs you’ve had and about all the times you had to be nice to people when you didn’t really want to be. Just calm yourself down and politely go about your business. This is probably not your chance to get lucky.

She’s Helping You (like any Decent Person Would)
I once had a guy stop me for directions, and as I gave them I could tell he was getting all worked up to ask me out. It was embarrassing because I was only being a good Samaritan and when he made his move, I had to turn him down. This common assumption that men make about the sexual interests of women makes it hard to want to offer help. It’s tiring to have to find creative ways to head you off at the pass, to work in comments about existing partners etc. when all we want to do is be decent people. If you request help from us and we are kind enough to give it, please just say thank you and leave it at that.

She’s Meeting You in a Social Setting
By this I don’t mean a party, but something more like a chance introduction. Imagine you’re walking down the street and you encounter a friend with a group of people to whom you haven’t yet been introduced. Among this group is a woman you find attractive. The introductions are made and she smiles and says, “It’s lovely to meet you.” What she’s probably saying is, “I want to be polite and show my friend the respect of treating his/her friends well.” This is not your cue to start hitting on her.

Of course there will be times when women are flirting with you. It does happen! Just don’t assume anything too quickly. You’ll have better luck being respectful and paying attention to the context in which her attention is given to you.

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