How to Make Every Hookup a Win-Win

Do you want your date to tell all her friends about the amazing time she had with you? Do you want to go to sleep at night, not only satisfied from all the great sex you just enjoyed, but also from the knowledge that your partner couldn’t have come any harder? Introducing the Fuck-o-Matic 5000!

Seriously, though. Did it not sound like I was writing the opening script for a late-night infomercial? Let’s try that again. Don’t be a selfish prick. Make sure your hookup partner enjoys herself as much as you do, ‘kay?

Ask for What You Want

When you create your online dating profile, put extra effort into communicating your wants and needs. If you’re only looking for one night of hot, meaningless sex, say that! There are plenty of women out there who are looking for casual relations.

Hookups turn sour when one partner expects something that the other partner isn’t prepared to give. Be specific and avoid ambiguous clichés like, “Let’s just see where things go.” Someone who really wants a relationship might interpret that in the broader sense of, “Let’s see if there’s a future for us.” Being on the same page right from the start will ensure a much less awkward hookup experience.

Search for It in the Right Places

There are tons of dating sites out there, each catering to a specific set of needs. Do your research before you join to ensure that your profile reaches the right group of women. If you’re into pony play, or you want to discover what it feels like to have a golden shower, maybe don’t post your profile on a site called VanillaVixens.

If you’re a fan of the shotgun approach, you might feel that limiting yourself to certain sites will hurt your chance of getting laid, but wouldn’t you rather find women who are into the same things you are? It’s much easier than having to justify your kinks, and more respectful to your unsuspecting date, who will probably feel super weirded out by the neoprene horse suit draped over your bed.

Ask Questions

Don’t assume your date is after the same hookup experience you are. Even though I just stressed the importance of being super clear about what you want in your dating profile, she might not have gotten the memo. Get used to talking about expectations and (if the mood is right) fantasies!

The difference between a mediocre hookup and one that you’ll both remember for years to come, could be the brave discovery of complimentary desires. Obviously, you don’t want to push too hard if she seems uncomfortable. Feel it out. Create a safe space for her to open up by being respectful and not pressuring her into anything.

Set It Up to Succeed

Don’t make the mistake that many guys do, of assuming that sex is a sure bet. Even if you’re meeting on the heels of a hot and steamy sexting marathon, put in the time and effort to woo your date. I’ve been out with guys who I was really into online, but by end of our first date, my vagina had shrivelled up and sealed itself shut. You can increase your odds and make things run a lot more smoothly just by showering, being on time, and showing an interest in the conversation.

If your date wants to meet you in a well-lit, public place first, agree to that! I’m sure you can delay your Netflix and Chill for an hour or two, just to ensure that she feels safe and comfortable. And speaking of comfort, clean up your place! Offer her something to drink! In essence, be a good host. If all else fails, you can always break out the Fuck-o-Matic 5000.

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