You set the date and are excited to meet her. As the evening grows near, you start to experience symptoms of some horrible illness: you’re sweating constantly, and you fear that you can’t be more than ten paces from the bathroom. You contemplate whether or not you should cancel. You haven’t gotten laid in months, and you’re not sure what’s more pressing, that or your need for Pepto Bismol.
First date nerves are the worst. Not only can they take all the fun out of an evening, but they can sabotage it as well. No pressure, right? If you’re prone to this particular brand of social anxiety, fear not. Here are some things you can do to combat it.
Netflix and Chill is not a plan. Suggest meeting in a place that will offer guaranteed fun, like a cool restaurant or an event that you’re both interested in—if the date’s a train wreck, you’ll both still have a good time.
First date nerves can be made worse by putting too much weight on the prospect of getting laid. Try to relax and enjoy yourself in the moment. If you both want it and the chemistry is there, sex will happen naturally.
Do a Trial Run
I’m not suggesting that you fashion a likeness of your date out of a broom stick and pillows and take it out to dinner, just that you gain advanced knowledge of the place you’re going. How long will it take you to get there? What’s on the menu? Do they accept debit and credit cards, or is it a cash only place?
Knowing all this stuff ahead of time will take some of the guesswork out of the evening and give you a bit more confidence.
Have Questions Ready
Read through her profile to get inspired about what to ask her. Does she list any hobbies or interests? Does she talk about her work? If she hasn’t elaborated much online, think of things you’re curious about and start there. Just be sure to pay attention to her responses. If she’s not opening up and seems uncomfortable, ease up on the questioning, and wait for her to drive the conversation.
Also, think about things you might like to share with her. Is there anything you feel is not open for discussion? Think of how you might express this to her in a way that won’t shut down the entire evening. Being prepared with talking points can help assuage your fears about those awkward silences.
Be Prepared for Anything
Even if you don’t expect things to get hot and heavy on the first date, be prepared with a hookup-ready place and condoms. Also, make sure you’re well groomed and squeaky clean with gum or breath mints on hand. That said, try not to get too excited about the idea that this will be the night you’ll finally end your dry spell.
Be psychologically prepared to accept rejection gracefully. Whether she’s not feeling it at all or just that night, share that it was lovely to meet her, and leave it at that. Remember that even if you were sexting like crazy leading up to the date, she has the right to turn you down.