There’s little in life that can serve as a bigger blow to your confidence than getting dumped, or having a relationship end on mutual terms. Even the most self-assured among us can slide into a period of severe self-doubt after a breakup. Naturally, we begin to ask questions like “Why did the relationship fail? What is it about me that she didn’t like, or didn’t find adequate?”
Ditching these sorts of thoughts is crucial to recovering from a breakup and getting back into the game. By the same token that few things are more attractive to a woman than a man with self-confidence, women sniff out doubt like a bloodhound on the trail of an escaped convict. So, when you’re looking to shake off a breakup and get back out there, the first step is projecting confidence – even if you aren’t feeling any!
Putting on a brave face and projecting self-assurance is not the same thing as strutting around like a cocky douche-bag, by the way. That’s called “bravado” and women can see it coming a mile away, too. The trick is in finding a way to communicate quiet confidence, and to carry it like you believe in yourself enough that you don’t have to talk about it. It’s not about bragging and boasting, it’s about showing that you’re so cool, you don’t have to let people know about it; you just do your thing and people will take notice on their own.
So, how is this done in the context of hooking up with someone new? On that first date, make sure you arrange to do something you are actually confident in, and where your strengths can really shine through. If you’re a good conversationalist, go for coffee and a chat, and just be yourself. If you kick ass at playing pool, take her to a billiard parlor and take the opportunity to show her a few things – after all, to show off proper form for a shot, you have to stand behind her and hold her close while you demonstrate the right way to hold the stick, and how to execute a smooth stroke, right? You get the picture: projecting confidence is easier when you’re doing something you are actually secure in your ability to do.
There’s more to a successful hookup than just being confident, of course, but the rest of the tricks and tips really won’t get you anywhere without it. Start with that making yourself feel that self-assurance, and the women you are interested in will feel it!
How do you recover from a breakup and get back in the game?
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