Ok, guys. You’ve got your potential hookup in front of you at a hip cocktail bar. Things are going well. Really well. You think it’s almost time to bring her home. Thing is, you’re always one stupid thoughtless dumbass sentence away from blowing it all. Trust me, fellas. I’ve been so close to clinching, and then BAM! said the wrong thing. Flight 180. As in her doing a 180 in her bar stool and flying out the door!
5 things you should NEVER EVER say to a woman on a date:
1. “So, tell me about your ex.”
Are you kidding me? You may as well hang a huge banner across your chest that reads INSECURE. Guys, the last thing a woman wants to talk about is her ex. She’s on a date with you because she wants to move on. Repeat after me: He does not matter. Again. He does not matter. Make that your mantra, my brothers. What if she says, “Oh, he was a porn star.” Will that make you feel better? Hell no. Just leave it alone, fellas. Leave it alone.
2. “You’re going to eat all of that?”
This goes hand-in-hand with the cliché, “Does this dress make me look fat?” question. Guys, never ever ever ever broach anything to do with weight or food with a woman. So she’s about to take her last bite of a 12 oz striploin? So what!? Let her enjoy it without you worrying about her weight. If you seriously want a chance of taking her home, compliment her eyes and forget about her appetite, son!
3. “How much money do you make?”
Ohhhh, facepalm! Really. You seriously asked that? This is a multi-layered one. She could assume a lot of things from this stupid question. For one, she may think you’re broke and looking for a sugar mama, or maybe she thinks you’re an insecure douchebag who can’t handle dating a woman who makes more money than her. Or maybe she just plain thinks you’re too nosey and rude to ever date again. Forget about her finacial situation. Just show her the money as in make sure you pick up the cheque at the end of the night.
4. “Can I kiss you?”
Guys, asking a woman for a kiss is pretty much saying, “I’m everything you’re not looking for in a man.” You’re a man, not a boy! She wants a guy who will take charge, not ask permission like he’s still in grade school. You never ask if you can kiss a woman, you just do it when you feel the time is right. Period.
5. “(Insert Movie Star Here) is sooo hot!”
Yep, I agree with you, fellas. Mila Kunis is ridiculously hot. I mean off the charts hot. Did you notice something here though, guys? This is a conversation between TWO MEN. Never ever drop which hollywood star du jour is your favorite. The last thing you want to do is create a basis for comparison and suddenly make your date feel insecure. Talk about a mood killer! Chances are she’s not Mila Kunis, but chances are you’re on a date with her because you do find her really attractive. That’s good enough, boys! Forget about unattainable celebrities and focus on the beauty in front of you.
Have any date stories where you said the wrong thing? What happened?