Most of us have experienced the stale sex syndrome in a long-term relationship—two people who are so familiar with each other, and each other’s bodies, that sex invariably becomes somewhat ho-hum after a certain amount of time.
But casual sex can become boring and stale too, for those of us who don’t want to settle down into a relationship of any length that requires commitment, and for those of us who prefer the short-and-sweet style that online dating cultivates.
You may have a host of honeys that you can reach out to when you’re feeling horny or lonely or just plain bored. Maybe you have a single friend with benefits you call when the mood strikes, or you prefer to roll with a new hookup every week or two. No matter what your casual dating looks like, it can feel blah over time if it’s your same old same old.
5 Tips to Make Casual Sex Fun Again
1. Take a Break
You might be feeling casual-sex burnout, especially if you have more than one woman you regularly hook up with. While some guys can juggle many kinds of relationships with many women, it’s certainly not for everyone.
Take a hook-up hiatus, go on a trip, focus on your interests, and hang with friends. We all need a breather sometimes. And if your relationships are casual, it should be no biggie.
2. Reassess Your Needs
Sometimes casual sex becomes boring and loses its luster when we realize it’s not enough. Our bodies say go, but our minds are telling us something else. Take a good long look at your true feelings. Are you content with casual flings and one night stands, or are you ready and interested in something deeper?
We are not static beings—what you wanted or needed last week might not be the same today. It’s always worthwhile to do a self check-in to see where you’re at.
3. Switch Your Dating Scene
Maybe you’re in a casual sex rut because you always frequent the same old haunts, hoping to meet someone new that never appears. Maybe you have a player reputation at the places you hang that prevents women from being interested.
Don’t be shy about checking out new bars and clubs, singles events, meetup nights, and even sex clubs.
4. Expand Your Online World
A lot of people find a free dating site that’s easy to manage, where they set up a profile and get comfortable. That’s all well and good, unless you’re still there years later, without updating your status, photos, bio, and other personal info in all those years.
Women who may have been interested, and who see your photo come up as a match over and over, may be put off because you don’t refresh your profile. It may sound weird, but women notice these things.
5. Add Kink to the Mix
Even if you think of yourself as fairly vanilla, there must be some things you fantasize about and want to try in real life. Kinky sex is easier with familiar partners because trust plays a factor in many practices, like bondage and spanking, but it’s not impossible.
You can find kinky sex partners on sites like BDSMdate.com or FindaThreesome.com. Part of expanding your online world can include new dating sites. You can also meet new partners at BDSM munches, sex conventions or clubs. And don’t forget about sex workers—these men and women are experts and provide absolute discretion if that’s what’s preventing you from trying something new.
What is your go-to remedy when casual sex gets boring? Please share!