First dates are stressful no matter what the circumstance. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been messaging for a month, a week or a day, meeting someone for the first time is right up there on the stress-o-meter with public speaking, or trying not to fart in public.
One way to manage your stress is to be prepared. Get to know your date by asking her some important questions. Here are some that I wish I had thought of sooner, as they might have helped me to avoid some seriously awkward first-date situations!
4 Questions to Ask before the First Date
Do You Eat Meat?
Just to clarify, I mean this in the literal sense of hamburgers and filet mignon. Do not point to your crotch over Skype as you ask her this. The fact is, more and more people are going vegan these days. You don’t want to set up a date that revolves around the consumption of seared animal flesh, only to find out that she hasn’t eaten meat in years.
Asking this question also opens the door to a larger conversation about values, which could be helpful in determining whether or not the two of you are compatible. If you just want to bone, maybe it doesn’t matter that much, but you still want to go someplace where you can both eat on your first date!
Do You Have any Allergies?
Lots of people are allergic to things: dairy, shellfish, peanuts, to name a few examples. I once surprised this new guy I was seeing with dinner out at a gourmet grilled cheese restaurant (classy, I know.) Later that night, I learned that he was lactose intolerant. He hadn’t wanted to offend me and ate everything on his plate, basically playing flushin’ roulette to disastrous ends.
Most people probably wouldn’t be this brave or foolish, but first-date nerves make us do all kinds of silly things.
Are You an Introvert or Extrovert?
I’m about 95% introverted, which means that I’m most comfortable in small, quiet gatherings or with one-on-one conversations. I hate big parties or loud events where I have to yell to be heard, and I hate mingling. If a guy I’m seeing asks me out to something where I know I’ll be uncomfortable, I usually say something, but sometimes I go along with it, just so he doesn’t think I’m rude or a snob.
Asking where she falls on the introvert-extrovert spectrum is one way to avoid this kind of thing. Maybe you’re on the far end of the spectrum, yourself and you want to meet someone who can relate? Either way, it’s a good piece of information to have.
How Do You Feel about Animals?
This question is important if you have pets, and you’re planning to host at your place. You don’t want to invite anyone into your home who isn’t going to treat your fur babies with love and respect. Even if you don’t have pets, do you really want to hang out with someone who doesn’t like animals?
Sorry, but you’ve got to have a heart black as coal to not like animals. I even feel suspicious if someone I’m dating says they think my cat is “alright”. I’m sorry, but if you don’t love my cat within seconds of meeting her, you’re a broken and sad human being!
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