Last week I wrote a post about Mama’s Boys and why their unhealthy, codependent attitudes are a huge roadblock to getting their dicks sucked. If you read it and thought Shit! That’s me! don’t worry because by the end of this post you should have a pretty good handle on how to start taking control and becoming your own man.
It might take some time. The Mama’s Boy dynamic took your whole life to form and you might feel a bit uncertain about your ability to break out of it, but it’s worth the effort if it means having the dating life you want.
How to Stop Being a Mama’s Boy
1. Spend Some Time Alone
Think of it as something of a vision quest or even just a time out from the regular routine of dinner on the table at six, followed by Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. Take yourself camping or on a trip to an unfamiliar city. Spend some time relying on yourself, if only just to prove that you can.
If you became a Mama’s Boy later in life, after having enjoyed the freedom of independence, try to revisit some of your old interests. Sometimes fear and life’s circumstances can drive one back to the family home and into the Mama’s Boy position. All you can do is try to build yourself back up.
2. Figure Out What You Want
Being a Mama’s Boy quite often means that you’re willing to sacrifice your own power and decision making ability for the comforts of being cared for like a child. You have to really think about what you want as a man.
Don’t worry about what’s expected of you or about how your mom might react. This is a time to think only of yourself. What dreams did you have for your future? What would your life look like if you didn’t feel trapped in your current situation?
3. Identify What’s Holding You Back
Is it fear? Guilt? A lack of money? Until you can identify why you’re a Mama’s Boy, you can’t make the changes necessary to become your own man. Often it’s not just your issues but your mother’s as well that are causing the problem.
If she doesn’t recognize her role in the whole thing or doesn’t want to make a change, you’re going to be up against it a bit. In some cases you might have to assert yourself more than you feel you can. That’s where the next point comes in.
4. Challenge Yourself
Making the decision to break away from an unhealthy Mama’s Boy dynamic takes guts. You have to step up and claim your right to have your own life and make your own choices, even when your entire life at home is structured in a way that makes it easy for you to defer and be completely powerless.
Taking the path of least resistance is easy, but it’s time for you to get off your pampered ass and be a man! Face your fears whatever they may be, or at least make a start at trying. No self-respecting lady is going to grant you access to her vagina otherwise.