Nobody likes to be on the receiving end of someone’s desperate attempts to get laid. Not only does it feel super creepy, but it’s embarrassing for the poor fool who thinks that trying harder will get them what they want.
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, maybe one more text will get a response, or she must have lost my number… I should contact her again, step back and take a good look around because you, my friend, are lost in Desperationville and need to get the fuck out of there before they name the town arena after you.
4 Signs that You’ve Landed in the D-Zone
1. You’ve Sent Her More than 2 Unanswered Messages
If, after a reasonable amount of time, she hasn’t replied to your first OR second messages, she’s probably not interested. If she hasn’t replied to your third message, it’s probably because she’s too busy googling, “How to take out a restraining order.” You know, just in case.
Also note that only in very rare circumstances is a second message even appropriate! Let’s say you sent a brief initial greeting, then looked more closely at her profile and saw that she asked you to answer a specific question. By all means, answer it! That will indicate your interest. NEVER send a second message asking if she received your first one.
2. You’re Writing Novels in Response to Her Brief Replies
Lots of women are socialized to be polite at all times, so she might not come right out and tell you that she thinks you’re a desperate loser. She might not even ghost you, which would certainly get the point across eventually. Instead, she might simply offer you very short, cursory responses to your in-depth questions, hoping that you’ll take the hint and move on.
Of course, there’s always the chance that she’s really shy. Try asking simpler questions. Don’t jump right into the heavy stuff, and just feel it out. If she’s still holding out, she’s probably not into you.
3. You’re Pushing Hard for More Contact
If she isn’t as excited about being in touch as you are, that’s not a great sign. If you find yourself sending her messages to ask where she is or why she didn’t return your last call or text, you’re coming on way too strong and most likely fighting a losing battle.
You should never have to beg for more attention. While her lack of contact could just signal a difference in communication style, be aware that she’s probably trying to avoid you. If you’ve been seeing her for a while, it’s okay to ask for clarification. If, on the other hand, you’ve only started dating, don’t push the issue. It’s better to give her space and cut your losses.
4. You’re Getting Angry When She Doesn’t Respond Right Away
Sure it’s irritating to be ignored, but getting mad about it and making demands will not get you the positive attention you desire. If anything it will drive her away faster and leave you looking like a desperate control freak.
Maybe she has a good reason for not being readily available. Maybe she doesn’t want to be as heavily involved in your life as you would like her to be. Remember, she doesn’t owe you her time or attention. If she doesn’t wish to give you what you want, you need to accept that. There are other ladies out there who will.