Casual Dating

Use Your Self-Esteem to Boost Your Sex Life

Man Adjusting Tie in Mirror

Some of the most desirable men I know are not what anyone would consider to be conventionally sexy. They get laid because they don’t give a shit about the narrow definitions that have been socially ascribed to our roles as sexual beings. They have opened up their minds, and by extension grown aware of the many glorious opportunities before them.

Many guy friends of mine have expressed frustration at not having the disposable income or ripped body they feel would get them laid on a regular basis, and I repeatedly tell them that their lack of sexual opportunity has very little to do with monetary or physical assets and almost everything to do with their lack of confidence and self-esteem.

If you’re one of those guys who believes that nature and circumstance has dealt you a shitty hand, the first step on your road to getting laid is to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Self-pity is a giant turn off. No woman wants to spend her time consoling you, or trying (most likely in vain) to convince you of your manliness. Learn to accept what you have to offer and work it with confidence.

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I’m not saying it’s easy. Radical self-acceptance takes some work, and the path to success is different for everyone. Therapy is a good place to start. If that’s not your thing, try some self-guided introspection. List the things about yourself you think are desirable, then make another list of the things you think are not. Unless you’re a real psychopath, I’m sure many of those “undesirable” traits are really just superficial things that you’ve been conditioned to hate about yourself. Try to embrace those aspects of your reality as best you can or, if you must, decide to make some changes. Work on your self-esteem by taking control of the way in which you define your desirability and I can guarantee you’ll attract more women.

3 Steps to Building Dating Confidence

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