Whenever people go online or communicate via a mobile phone there is a tendency to forget that it isn’t always a one-on-one interaction. The fact is, as soon as your text message, email or IM come through to her screen she is likely to start chatting with her friends to see what they think of the things you’ve been saying. That’s why having her friends in mind is often a backdoor to capturing her heart.
Imagine a girl complaining about her friend Kerri to you, and you respond with, “That’s terrible, you should probably just stop hanging out with her.” What happens when Kerri patches things up and hears the guy her friend is now hooking up with was badmouthing her during their argument? A much better way to go about it is to take on the role of peacemaker according to dating experts.
“With a site like ours, we have seen plenty of feedback from guys and girls seeking relationship advice, and the one question that constantly comes up is about how to handle her friends when they are at odds with your own goals” says Megan Crowley of UglyPeopleDating.com. “We don’t focus on physical appearances the way other dating sites do, so our members tend to go more than just skin deep, but the same sorts of experiences can be applied to other dating site hookups as well. Always try and take a positive approach, be seen as a positive person and let her know you see the best in people. That way you can start turning her friends into your allies, and when it comes time to impress her you’ll have a chorus of those close to her singing your praises behind the scenes.”
In some cases, experienced daters have even been known to have fictional arguments with friends just to see how a potential mate reacts. Everyone wants a great lover in their life, to share their successes and salve their shortcomings. So, while it can take some getting used to, at least online, you want to be the one who is always offering the kind of reassuring supportive charisma that will have her craving your attention from one hookup to the next.