A Man’s Guide to Dick Pic Etiquette

I know you’re dying to show that thing off. Since you’re looking for hot hookups with women seeking the same, isn’t the fastest way into her panties a picture of the ultimate prize?

Well, feel free to follow your heart or your hard-on, but here’s my two cents on the whole dick pic thing: don’t do it.

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I’m a woman in hot pursuit of regular flings. I love sex, and lots of it, and variety is the spice of life. I love porn and I love naked men.

But please don’t send me pictures of your cock.

There are only two rules to follow in deciding if and when to send the dick pic.

1.  Penis pictures must only be sent to a woman after she has seen the real thing in person.

2. The only time you should send it is when she begs you to do so.

Now, I know you’re a proud peacock and want to tantalize her with your crown jewels.

But first things first: receiving an unsolicited dick pic is a turn off. It’s an aggressive assumption on your part, and you’re subjecting her to a sexual advance she’s still deciding whether she wants. Even if you’re sexting like crazy, the full monty must wait.

Secondly, women in general aren’t wired the same way as men are. Even when it comes to no-strings-attached hookups and dating, we are as turned on by a close-up of some man’s cock as we are by a bratwurst on the BBQ.

A woman wants to form an attachment—however brief—to your body, to your story. Then the picture will serve as part of her memory, and that connection will fuel her response.

In other words, we need some kind of context. Once we have that, we might start begging to have a little something to remember you by. Only then should you send the dick pic.

No matter how much you want to impress her with your best feature, if we’ve never been there, it’s going to be hilarious, not hot.

I have erased and never called back the vast majority of dick pic senders. There were a few I tolerated with a grimace, granting a chance since we had been getting along really well online. But I went reluctantly, not aroused. I hooked up with only one sender, and it was, well, totally anticlimactic.

On the other hand, there’s one dick pic I keep hidden years later, and still pull out every other time I pull out my vibrator.  

It was a photo I begged for as a “going away gift” after a super sexy summer affair. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other, the chemistry was out of this world, and even though I had other great lovers, I cried when he went back to Morocco after his student-exchange period ended. The dick pic was a prized parting gift and because I can so vividly recall many a sexy rendezvous, in full graphic recollection, it turns me on just thinking about it.

If you’re sending out pics and not getting quality responses, think about what I’m saying. It’s just one girl’s opinion, of course, but if you follow my easy rules, your penis will need its own paparazzi before too long.

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