How to Say “I Love You” without Really Saying It

When it comes to gushing, I break guys down into three categories:

1. Those capable of falling in love and not being too shy to declare it.

2. Those incapable of or unwilling to fall in love.

3. Those capable of falling in love but incapable of declaring it without the onset paralysis.

I’m number three.

In the right relationship, with the right woman, I, too can become overwhelmed with “feelings” (all those Facebook Buzzfeed quizzes even tell me so.) But you’ll likely never hear The Three Little Words discharging from my lips.

But I do go out of my way to demonstrate other ways of showing affection. If you’re a guy like me, for whom getting all mushy is not an easy thing to do, try incorporating some of these into your loving routine:

• cuddle, cuddle, cuddle (which I happen to love doing, anyway)
• listen when needed (little can mean more than this)
• introduce her to your family and defend her from your family!
• show her off to your friends — in person and with pics (including printed desktop pics, not just the ones on your phone)
• plan surprises (weekend getaways, dinner reservations at her favorite restaurant, etc.)
• do housework (the thorough kind: toilet, tub, floors — managing to get your own dirty laundry into the basket hardly qualifies…)
• bathe her (we do it to babies, don’t we? and I happen to love doing it!)
• cuddle, cuddle, cuddle!

Forget about opening doors and paying for dinner and driving her to work and all the rest of it: this isn’t about chivalry. Although chivalry will be duly noted, it’s also easy to do, as a matter of rote, feeling nothing. The aforementioned list is about demonstrative action. I’d like to think these actions speak volumes, and do the trick. I’m pretty sure in some cases they have. But I also know for a fact that my inability to spew sweet nuthins has been the death of more than one relationship.

Is there a specific muscle that needs to be strengthened to get those three little words out? An I-Love-You muscle? Does it even really matter as long as the message (if not the words) are getting through?

I’m knackered just thinking about it. I could sure use a cuddle.

How do you say “I love you” without really saying it?