Last week I wrote a post outlining some signs that she might be obsessed with you. Now I’m going to come at it from the opposite angle and help you to recognize signs of romantic obsession in yourself.
It can be hard to admit that you’re romantically obsessed. In fact, you might be putting a lot of psychological effort into convincing yourself otherwise, but once you admit the truth, you can start to heal. Next week I’ll offer some advice on how.
5 Signs You Might Be Obsessed with Her
1. You Think of Her All the Time
It doesn’t matter what’s happening in your life, thoughts of her take front and center. You could have won the lottery or lost your job and although these things might temporarily capture your attention, you still go to bed thinking of her. The sad thing is, you know it isn’t mutual.
You know that if she ever discovered that you thought of her so incessantly, she would feel a little creeped out. You’ve only just started seeing one another, or she’s made it clear that she’s only looking for something casual, and yet your imagination has taken hold, and you can’t help but fantasize about something more.
2. You Feel Overly Protective and Possessive
If she doesn’t answer your texts, you worry that she’s hurt or that she’s abandoned you. If you see her talking to another guy, you assume she’s fucking him, or thinking of it. Nothing she says or does convinces you of her feelings for you.
You feel unappreciated and yet bound to your role as her savior and protector. It’s a hard burden to shoulder and yet you live in fear of her rejecting you. It’s difficult and at times torturous, but who would you be without her?
3. Everything You Do Is with an Eye to What She Might Think
It’s like she’s taken up residence in your brain and passes judgement on all you say and do. If something amazing happens, it hardly matters unless you think she’d be pleased. When you walk down the street you imagine that she’s somehow watching you. You want to impress her, so you dress in ways that you know she likes.
You want her to ache for you, so you try to arrange scenarios that highlight your best qualities. You feel that you’ve lost sight of your true self, but it hardly matters if you think she’ll be pleased.
4. You Need Her to Validate You
You live for those little bits of praise she offers. You need her to think you’re special and to prove it to you all the time. If she criticizes you, you think about it for ages and blow it way out of proportion. If she doesn’t call or text enough, you worry that it’s because you’ve upset her or that she thinks you’re dirt.
You have so little self-esteem that you can’t feel happy or complete unless she gives you the attention you seek. You can go from feeling elated when she gives you a fix to feeling completely empty if you feel she’s ignored you. You are at the mercy of her whims.
5. You Get Angry When She Doesn’t Give You What You Need
At the beginning of your obsession, you might not feel brave enough to get mad at her when she doesn’t fulfill her end of the bargain, but eventually you won’t be able to hold it in. You’ll lash out in random ways that seem perplexing and completely out of context. If she fights back, you’ll chalk it up to her lack of caring.
She never signed off on being your everything, but that doesn’t matter. How dare she deprive you? If your obsession has gone on for years, you might be subconsciously trying to sabotage things and thus free yourself. It’s painful, but in the end, it might just be the best thing for you.