Being the object of someone’s romantic obsession provides a tremendous ego boost at first, but before long it starts to feel suffocating. Sure, you’re worshipped and needed like never before, but at what cost? Are you really willing to give up your personal space and peace of mind just to maintain your place on the pedestal?
The signs of romantic obsession can vary from person to person, and the behaviors exhibited can range from mild to extreme, but in all cases there’s an uneven distribution of power. In her eyes, you’re everything and she’s nothing.
5 Signs She Might Be Obsessed with You
1. She Demands Your Attention
She calls or texts you every day and gets angry if you don’t reply right away. Sometimes you wonder if she’s creating drama, just to get your attention. There’s always some emergency that needs tending to, or an emotional conversation that needs to happen before she’ll back off and leave you in peace.
If you’re out with friends, she wants a play-by-play. If you’re out with her, she dominates the conversation, asking you mostly about things that impact her, or about your impression of something she’s said or done.
2. She Needs Your Constant Reassurance
It doesn’t matter how many times you tell her you care for her, or how often you compliment or praise her, she’ll always want more. She won’t make a decision unless you sign off on it. She’s extremely needy and can’t seem to exist on her own.
You get the feeling that she worships you, or that she expects more of you than of anyone else. You might find yourself growing exhausted. What once felt flattering now feels like an obligation. You want to walk away, but feel guilty for considering it.
3. She Won’t Give You Space
On those occasions that you do try to take a little time for yourself, she clings even tighter. You tell her you’ll be away and unable to be in touch as often, but still she contacts you each day at her regular times, using your phone like her personal journal.
When you get back home, she says she needs to see you right away. If you can’t accommodate her wishes, she gets angry or pouty. You start to wonder if she’s addicted to you, and if she goes into withdrawal when you’re not around to give her a fix.
4. She Talks About You Incessantly
You hear from mutual acquaintances that she can’t shut up about you. Friends of hers you’ve just met know everything about you, despite you having heard nothing about them. They say things to suggest that the two of you are already married, or headed there.
You might have only been going out for a relatively short period of time, but you hear that she’s sure you’re “the one.” You find out in conversation with others that she’s planned out your whole future. She hasn’t come out and shared this with you yet, but you know in your gut that it’s true.
5. She Says She Can’t Live Without You
If you try to slow things down a bit or assert your boundaries, she begs you not to leave. She might create an emergency that requires your help, or she might actually come out and say that she would die without you. Sadly, she might really feel that it’s true. Her sense of self might be so weak that she really doesn’t know if she can exist without your validation.
It’s a tough spot to be in, but you do have a right to leave a situation that’s not healthy for you. If you’re worried about her mental health, encourage her to speak to a therapist, or consult one yourself before making your escape.