Want to add some kinky roleplay to your sex life?
One of the best parts about being kinky is having a kinky imagination and doing fun things with it! With the right people, you don’t have to hold back your wildest and secretly sexy thoughts, and you can share them in more than just words.
Not everyone is able to imagine themselves as another person and safely provide a space to expand their intentions while respecting the fundamental rules and boundaries of the relationship. It has to be pre-negotiated as to how and when it’s okay to push the boundaries to new levels, and when it’s time to come back to earth together.
If you both get dressed up in leather and put nipple clamps on and pretend you’re wild animals in cages, that’s great! But you both have to know when to stop the scene and remove the clamps and change the dialogue you share. Sexual roleplay need not be full-on method acting, but it can be a creative departure from your regular self.
Here’s some more suggestions to take your kinky roleplaying from fantasy to memory.
5 Kinky Roleplay Sex Tips
1. Choose One Scene per Roleplay Experience
If you are recreating your favorite movie only work on making one roleplay scene per session, especially if you’re new to role play. If you’re playing a student-teacher scene, start off with a detention scene—no need to try to do a full day of teacher student, then lunch monitor and janitor, then principal and substitute teacher all in one night.
The focus can be easily lost when new couples are exploring new identities to experience their sexuality, and the pressure of always knowing what to say next can take the fun out of the kinky roleplay.
Read: Kinky Role Plays Ideas for You and Your Lover
2. Keep the Roleplay Simple
Don’t use too many props and toys and costumes in your kinky roleplay!
A blindfold and a paddle might be all you need. You might just need two burlesque masks. You might need just a bunny tail and a whip, who knows! But there is nothing less entertaining than getting caught up in your costume because there’s eight pieces to it, and you can’t make a smooth transition from your acting persona to your sexy persona.
Don’t use too many words unless that’s your kink, and don’t use a giant headset for your partner to get out of if you’re planning on having any oral bliss. Simple words applied with deep impact is enough, and simple toys used with full force as well as creative intent will do more than getting lost in options.
3. Give and Take, Call and Respond
Roleplay is most fun when it’s like football—someone throwing an idea and someone else catching it and running with it to a winning place… and then throwing it back to keep the game going. Back and forth, you pass ideas, intentions, desires, demands, touches, caresses, punishments and rewards. You smack them, they move. You tell them to bark, they yelp. You tell them to nibble your ear, they bite it gently.
Back and forth your energy dances, like a tug of war with real and metaphorical rope, ha ha. Whether it’s body language talking back and forth or spontaneous sexy talk between two imaginary characters, the mindfuck can continue forever with the right imaginations.
Read: A Man’s Guide to Dirty Talk
4. Have a Roleplay Safeword
It’s basic but can’t be forgotten: Have an off button for when you might be pushed to the point of discomfort in a scene. It might never happen, it might happen the second scene you do. Nobody knows. But it’s best to prepare for the worst and intend for the best.
When the safeword is used, make sure all physical restraints are released, all verbal “costumes” are removed, all actions are halted immediately, and safety is checked just as fast. Everyone is allowed to stop the roleplay at any point in time, and that cannot be compromised. It’s better to have a safeword and not need it, than to need a safeword and not have one!
Read: How to Plan a Kinky Role Play
5. Use Your Real Life to Fuel Your Kinky Roleplay
Some people may find it difficult pretending to be a limo driver taking a superstar to a hotel and her wanting the driver to come up and fuck her, or pretending to be a corporate boss who wants to fuck on camera and risk their career by almost getting caught.
If you can’t imagine something for your kinky roleplay, use the big pieces of your own reality and run amok with it! Color and paint within whatever boundaries you want—sex with your real barista or secretary, your dream of fucking your friend’s girlfriend, your wish to spank your boss’s wife.
If you have a sexy scenario in real life that you are turned on by, convert it to something you experience in a kinky session with your loved one. You know which ones are cool enough to share with your lover, and which ones are not. Release the fantasy and go for it with some kinky roleplay!
Read: How Roleplay Can Improve Your Life
Do you have any kinky roleplay tips to share?
Addi “Malcolm Lovejoy” Stewart
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