5 Places to Hookup when You’re on a Budget

Not everybody can just give their special somebody the Pretty Woman treatment: give her a credit card to buy whatever she pleases, just so she can show up looking like haute couture before the big date. Let’s face it, lots of people are tying their casual dates together with shoestrings.

I’d also like to add that dating without money often results in more imaginative places to meet and hook up, with some just down right kinky.

5 Places to Hook Up when You’re Broke

1. Public Bathrooms

If you’re super broke, you can always do it in a bathroom stall. I’m not kidding. There’s a certain risk of getting caught that’s always been hot for adventurous lovers. Maybe a grimy stall in a dive bar isn’t your thing, but there’s lots of fancy hotels that have nice bathrooms that you can enter from the ground floor with no key card required—they’re clean, spacious, and sometimes even have towels.

This is a great idea when you don’t have the cash to spend the night somewhere, and you’re roommate is always lounging on the couch surrounded by take-out boxes.

2. Office Conference Rooms

There are often large rooms, unlocked and unguarded, in office buildings. Find an empty room, get under a table with a cloth over it, or do it behind the podium. It’s easy to find places to snog if you look normal while you creep around. And if you like role playing, you can always dress in business attire to really blend in. Even if you get caught, the worst that’s likely to happen is being thrown out of the building.

3. Movie Theaters

The back row at the movies is always fun. Trust me, theaters aren’t too busy right now. You will likely have most of the place to yourself, especially if its a mid-week matinee.  Me and this lady from France once did it under the screen at the front—there was a kind of curtain covering the space under the stage, so we ducked under there and did it on top of a big subwoofer. Receiving a blowjob while watching the big screen is still on my greatest-hits wish list.

4. Under the Stars

Doing it right on the grass is an age old tradition. There weren’t any roadside motels when Homo erectus strode out from Africa, spreading across Asia and Europe. They laid down on the sand and the grass, under the stars at night, while prehistoric beasts lurked around them in the dark. They fucked in the great wide open for thousands of years, and never a dollar was spent while pleasuring one another. Not interested in being exposed to the elements? Hike into some friendly woods, and pitch a tent.

5. Home Sweet Home

Home is where people are feeling most comfortable these days, so why not just keep things simple by planning a nice meal, streaming your favorite show, and cozying up on the couch. There’s no shame in staying in for some good loving. I think it’s gentlemanly to host, but if she feels more at ease at her place, bring either wine, dessert, or flowers… or all three!

What is your go-to hookup spot when money is tight? Please share in the comments!

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