Why She Doesn’t Want to Hook Up Tonight

You’ve done everything right trying to find casual sex with no strings attached.

Just when you thought you scored a hot lay tonight, you find she doesn’t want to go all the way or that she’s too busy. What gives?

Of course, you always respect a woman’s boundaries and her right to change her mind.

But isn’t it a bit misleading or unfair? Maybe. Maybe not.

Here are the top reasons why women might change their casual hookup plans.

She’s just not that into you, after all.

Sorry, and don’t take it personally. You may have done everything right with her online and had great conversation and sexts. She obviously thought you were hot or she wouldn’t have met up. But sometimes the chemistry in person doesn’t match up to what we think.

Yes, it does suck. But you have to take rejection like a man.

Onto the next online dating profile!

She changed her mind.

It’s not fair. It’s not fun. But it happens.

She may be looking for a hot fling, for adventure, for fun, or for the best way to relieve stress and boredom. But after flirting and making plans, she cancels them, or shows up and ducks out before the party gets started.

The mood can simply change. It’s unfortunate and maybe you’re both missing out, but again, you just have to accept it and move on.

Even if she is playing games, you have to find someone who’s ready and willing instead. It’s the age old game of hunting and seduction.

She’s nervous and feels sick to her stomach.

Here’s the most unsexy thing I’ll ever say on this blog: if I feel sick, nauseous, bloated, full, or anything less than fresh, I’m not going to get naked.

I might be nervous about a hot hookup ahead, or I might be nervous about a problem at work or a sick relative, and my body decides not to behave on the same night that I have a date.

It might be something she ate. It might be fear. If a woman feels she might have to run to the washroom with nausea or digestive problems, she’s not going to take off her clothes and bend over.

And she’s not going to tell you that in a text or phone call. She’ll just politely cancel.

If a woman cancels with “illness” as the reason, believe her and aim for another occasion. If she just doesn’t show up at all or doesn’t return your texts, then that’s another story. But if this is the story, she really does want to do this again, just not tonight.

She’s on her period.

Most of us can predict to some degree our cycle. But there are still huge variables. Women plan their weddings and honeymoon around projected menstrual dates, and still end up plunk in the middle of the red river while donning head to toe white.

We’d really rather not have Mother Nature dictate our availability, but she’s never 100% predictable. If something unexpected happens, I’m not going to tell you the reason unless you’re my boyfriend. It’s just too much information for casual hookups.

So again, if the message is something like, “Something came up. SO SORRY!!! I hope we can get together this time next week!” then, believe her and try again.

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