I used to think men who dated multiple women were jerks or womanizers. I don’t think mainstream media helped with this stereotype. As I got older and began online dating, I realized that I myself have juggled men, but I’ve never considered myself a jerk.
Dating various people at once is much more mainstream than ever and not predominantly done by men. Why do people do this? Advantages include speeding up the time it takes to find that special someone, freedom from commitment, and satisfying sexual needs.
Some people are open about their choice to date multiple partners while others try to make each date feel like they’re the only one. I prefer to be open as there’s less chance of conflict and hurt feelings.
Dating all over the map does have it’s drawbacks which I think are worse for men. It can dig a hole in your wallet if you’re the one picking up the tab (men should on a first date) and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned if she finds out you’ve been lying.
How to Successfully Date Multiple Women
1. Be Honest
With each woman you meet and begin dating, be up front about it. Let her know that you aren’t looking for Mrs. Right, but that you are open to anything that might happen. This doesn’t lead her on but still keeps her interested.
2. Zero Jealousy
If you want to date multiple women than you can’t expect any of them not to go out and do the same thing. Let her know it’s okay with you – encourage it because if you’re the only one she’s dating, there’s a good chance she’s going to get attached.
3. Keep it Light
Avoid serious romantic conversations and interactions. Date for fun, not intimacy. Share parts of yourself, but keep some things a mystery. The more you discuss your innermost desires the deeper you’re drawing a woman towards you.
4. Watch for Clingons
You know the ones. Women who appear calm and casual on the first date but by date number two are ready to move in. Girls that are calling or texting immediately after the first date are usually going to be needy throughout the relationship. They view sex as a lot more than just sex – not what you want. Find women who are confident, don’t need to be in touch all the time, and who have a full life going on without you.
5. Date Online
Online dating offers discretion. Even if you’re honest with each woman about your habits, they don’t want to know about or meet the other women you see. And that would be super uncomfortable for you. Dating online gives you the option of meeting women who live in different locations and who run in different circles.
6. Time Management
The number of women you juggle depends on two things – how much time you want to devote to this dating lifestyle and how well you manage time. Some guys prefer to date only two women at once while others are able to successfully date four or five. You’ll figure out your number through practice and stress level. By limiting the amount of contact, text/phone/email/in-person, you effectively keep each woman from getting too attached.
You’re likely to only see each woman once a week or once every two weeks, depending on how many you juggle. To avoid having a woman lose interest or develop jealous feelings you must put real effort into these dates. Make it a special occasion and give her all your attention. Make her feel like she’s the only woman in your life, even if she knows this isn’t true. And of course, never mention the other women you date. If she asks, as women are prone to do, skillfully change the subject.
Do you date multiple women? Any tricks of the trade to share?
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