I see you rolling your eyes. You think there’s no way I could ever convince you that being in the Friend Zone is anything but shit, and I get it. You thought you were on track for some super-hot lovin’, but instead you get to hear all about that other guy she’s hoping to bang.
Rejection sucks, and that’s exactly what the friend zone feels like. It hurts and it’s embarrassing, but it’s also a chance to grow.
What’s good about being in the Friend Zone?
1. It’s a Chance to Develop Empathy
Having close female friends is a great way to gain an understanding of what women experience in everyday life. I have some really amazing guy friends who I talk to about all sorts of things, including sex!
We help each other gain perspective, and develop empathy. I don’t know what I would do without these guys in my life, and guess what? I met them all though failed dating attempts.
2. It Will Help to Hone Your Skills
Speaking of failed dating attempts, they happen to us all. Sometimes things end so badly that you have no choice but to run and not look back. If you’re lucky enough to part on good terms, though, you just might end up with a whole load of friendly advice that you can use to improve your game.
Think of being in the friend zone as an excellent opportunity to give and receive personalized feedback. Where else could you get such an honest assessment of your dating abilities?
3. It’s an Opportunity to Meet Women
If you can get beyond the initial disappointment, ending up in the friend zone really just frees you up to meet other women. Maybe your new friend knows someone who she can set you up with? Because she’s already dated you, she knows what you have to offer.
If she thinks well enough of you to maintain a friendship, chances are she’ll want some other woman to benefit from your amazingness.
4. It Teaches You Patience
Like so many other things that don’t go your way in life, sexual rejection teaches you an important lesson: not everything happens when or how you want it to. In our current world of internet porn and next-day deliveries, waiting has become a lost art.
I’m not saying that you should hold out for this new friend of yours to change her mind. That probably won’t happen, and hoping that it will is a form of self-torture that I would not wish on anyone. It doesn’t hurt to develop a less desperate outlook, though, and see dating as an opportunity to make connections, be they sexual or otherwise.
It really bothers me that the friend zone has taken on such negative connotations in our society. So she doesn’t want to hook up with you? Is that all she’s good for? Try to move beyond the one-dimensional view that sex is the only clear benefit of dating. There are so many things to gain once you open yourself up to the options.