I might be biased, but I think polyamorous people have better sex lives! Here are my reasons why.
The inevitable sacrifice of novelty and variety is nonexistent.
Many monogamous couples mourn the heady heydays of novelty. While there’s much to be said about familiarity and long-term intimacy with a partner, the early rush of new nakedness and exploring someone’s unfamiliar body is something everyone misses.
Polyamory answers the dilemma of how you can have both long-term intimacy and the chaotic, mad rush of new desire.
There’s more of it.
Poly people have more sex. More often. With more lovers, there are more opportunities for frequency.
No need to choose between genders.
Even if not bisexual as far as an orientation goes, sexually adventurous people often enjoy experimenting with members of the same sex.
While lots of guys really enjoy experiences with other men, including such hot scenarios as taking turns with your buddy at his wife, the benefit is most pronounced for women like me. I want to be in relationships with men, but being “allowed” to fulfill my love of women sexually keeps me happy and horny.
We have more threesomes.
The most common fantasy of men and women is more in bed at once, and when monogamy isn’t a question, there’s no reason not to explore these fantasies.
Sex with someone else increases your desire for another partner.
Ever wonder why in movies, when someone is having an affair, they have more and better sex with their original partner?
It’s not just cinema fiction, either—one of the telltale signs of whether a spouse is sleeping with someone else is if there is a sudden, inexplicable surge back to fantastic sex when it was humdrum or nonexistent for awhile.
Poly people report that this effect is even hotter if you actually know about it and consent to it. There is also an amazing like-a-virgin effect sleeping with a lover after sleeping with another.
Is it the very idea of a lover writhing in ecstasy that causes this effect, reported by many if not most poly people? Is it seeing a familiar partner in a new light once someone else has seen them that way? Is it a hormonal response of evolution? Is it the “reclaiming” or “restaking” of territory that makes it so hot?
Who knows. Who cares. This level of hotness is impossible to describe or explain, and it’s impossible to come across quite this type of thrill or arousal in another way. There are lots of kinds of hot, and this one’s pure fire.
Polyamory naturally makes a person more open sexually and emotionally.
We learn from other people. Whether that’s about relating, about what to do or what to avoid, about different perspectives, or different sex positions! Relating to more people gives us a wider range of reference and experience in emotional and sexual matters.
The more unlimited we are, the more we can appreciate giving and receiving pleasure. Sexual exploration with diverse bodies, and diverse personalities doesn’t just supply novelty and variety, which is already a key ingredient of sex—it also fuels our ability to relate to and understand others’ emotional and sexual needs. Naturally, this makes us better lovers!