For group sex hookups, I wish I could say “use common sense” and it be fully understood to follow the simple, logical, and civilized rules for human engagement and advanced intimacy, but…
Imaginations are infinite and there is no accounting for fetish taste, so people MUST establish regulations and expectations in group sex situations.
There really should be some basic discussion together before it all goes down, a good chat where people discuss their “yes pleases” and “no ways” and what they wish for and seek in the event.
One orgy is going to be very different from another, and I don’t care to judge, but all orgies should have a relatively equal amount of respect and communication.
6 Rules for Group Sex Hookups
1. Say Your Name and Share Your Needs
Some people use their real names in sex clubs or at an orgy, and some people go by aliases. Whatever you choose, introduce yourself to your sex friends, and let it be known that if they are going to refer to you in any way whilst fucking or sucking or coming, that they can use that name—especially if things wind up on a camera, which is known to happen at times.
Also, let them know what you want to experience with them if it all works out. No guarantees, but plant a seed of hope and passion, then water it with grace, truth and chance, and then see who you get lucky doing whatever with!
Read: 4 Dating Sites for Kinky Couples
2. Speak Your Group Sex Boundaries Loud and Clear
Getting lucky in an orgy also means: having it end without anything UNWANTED happening to yourself or anyone else, that’s for damn sure. You never know what kind of surprises come to life during sexy times with interesting people, so make sure you speak your positive goals and your negative boundaries, both openly and honestly. This cannot be repeated enough.
What you DON’T want to have happen in an orgy may possibly be more important than what you DO want to have happen! Let the people there know that if your butthole is a no-fly zone, then that’s that and there can be NO negotiation. This is one of the most important rules for group sex hookups.
3. Bring Your Own Protection and More
This may be the second most important rule, but it varies depending on the people involved, and their fluid-bonding situations and ages and levels of personal safety.
It’s just smart to bring a big bag of condoms to group sex hookups. Bring many tubes of lube. Bring all the toys you want. Bring more than enough because you don’t want to just bring two condoms and then run out after fifteen minutes, trust me! But bring enough for the night, as much as you can afford and extras for some friends if you can. You don’t want to run out of anything you need to keep the fun safe and continuous.
Read: How to Host a Safe Sex Party
4. Don’t Pressure Yourself with Expectations
Sure there may be six people there, but that doesn’t mean you will fuck five or six people that night!
Never overburden yourself with pressure and worry and anxious desire to do more than you normally do, or to get greedy and try to fuck and kiss and suck everything and everyone. It may happen and unfold that way, which is fun to feel when ALL the stars align, but to force it makes it not feel as good for everyone (unless its a kink situation, which is different, but I digress.)
It’s just smart to take it one moment at a time. You may fuck all six people that night, but it’s best to reflect on that truth AFTER you make it happen and you’re putting your clothes on, instead of thinking you won’t have fun tonight if you don’t fuck all six people there. If you only fuck three people out of six… that’s STILL an awesome night and nothing to diminish, please believe it!
Keep your desires low and your optimism high.
5. Spread the Good Energy as Far as It Feels Right To
Just be natural—that’s all this is really saying. It’s simple, but it’s really the key to having a great time, especially if it’s your first time in a group sex situation. There are some people and places that will not feel quite right, and it’s your right to decide how to proceed or not.
Follow the chemistry. Some people will feel better to be with, but that doesn’t mean never connect, speak, or touch the people that it doesn’t feel as good to be around… unless they feel absolutely off limits for some reason.
Hopefully you won’t be in a group sex hookup where you can’t at least all lay down naked together and have some kind of cuddle puddle either pre- or post-orgy, and just be naked and happy together!
6. Respect Everyone’s Privacy
Last but certainly not least: STFU, and keep this great moment as secret as everyone agrees it has to stay! If it’s something that can never be spoken about by anyone, then never violate that rule. It’s worth holding that jewel in your crown by not bragging about it around town.
If it’s a light-hearted experience that can be spoken about to a few friends, be honorable and dignified with the description, not saying anyone’s name if you don’t need to. And if you do happen to say their names, be respectful and righteous about it.
Read: 4 Reasons to Keep Your Hookups Discreet
For the most part, it’s not actual gossip until you start sharing people’s names, so if you can, stick to talking about acts and actions to keep it as anonymous as possible. That way you can run your mouth all you want about getting double blowjobs, triple penetrations and three tongues on your asshole if you want… and nobody will know who you’re talking about because you just speak on the WHAT, WHERE, and HOW, not the WHO.
The WHY is always the same: to make the sexiest dreams come true!
Ready for your group sex hookup? A good place to start: Threesome Dating Sites.
Sincerely,
Addi “Malcolm Lovejoy” Stewart
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