I know there are a lot of single dads out there. I’ve dated a few and heard how tough it is. But, don’t despair, there’s still plenty of opportunities for you to find relationships – short and long-term.
With kids, you have to be more discerning about the type of women you invite into your life. You may be upfront about your situation or maybe you’re waiting to see if it’s more than a one-night stand. Here are some traits to keep in mind when selecting, dating, and searching for a potential mate.
Fun
Some people minimize this quality because they focus so much on career and day-to-day responsibilities, but if you can’t have fun with your lover, the bottom line is – it won’t last. As a single dad, who’s been through a major split, fun might be a distant memory. You can usually tell on a first date if a woman likes to have fun. Does she let you double her on your bike or like to be piggybacked?
Family and Friends
How does she value family, those close to her? Is she someone you can count on to be there when you need her? A woman who talks about her family readily will not be afraid of yours. Meeting her friends is always a good indicator of what kind of person she is. If they have children, how does she interact with them?
Patience
You know how much patience is necessary with children, whether it’s one or an entire brood. You can suss this out by noticing little things. Does she get frustrated when waiting for food to arrive at the table? How does she respond to waiting in line at the movie theatre?
Youthful
I’ve met women ten years younger than myself that act twenty years older. I feel sorry for people who always need to be in control or are afraid to act a fool on occasion. You want to meet a woman who you can be silly with the same way you are with your kids, especially if you are thinking long-term. The right woman will still be in touch with her inner-child.
Energy
Being a parent makes you think of the future, about your longevity, and reminds you know matter how old your child is, you will always be a parent. You need energy and vitality, so a female couch potato probably isn’t a great match. A woman who cares about her own health, cares about the well being of those around her.
Flexibility
As a dad, you know that plans change frequently – the babysitter cancels, your child hurts themselves or has a sudden fever. You’re used to these minor upsets, but will a new woman be? She has to be someone who can roll with the punches.
Loving
We’re not all touchy feely, but children and their parents are. Is she affectionate with you, or is she a prickly pear? Women who are uncomfortable with PDAs are usually not the best match for single dads. A woman needn’t start hugging and kissing your child(ren) the first time they meet, but she should be open to their affection.
Shared Interests
As a single parent, you and your child(ren) already engage in activities you enjoy together, but meeting a woman who has a whole different set list will be a challenge. Some women are a lot more open to trying new things, but you don’t want her to feel like she’s doing it just for you – kids will pick up on this and feel resentful – or maybe she will.
You may be enjoying casual sex here and there without your children knowing (which is best if that’s all it is) but you never know, one of these affairs could potentially turn into something more, so keeping these qualities and questions in mind will open you up to all possibilities.
Single dads: What dating tips can you relay to other men?
Tell us what you think