When Your Wife Wants an FFM Threesome

Q: My husband and I are curious about an FFM threesome (me, mostly!) I want to explore a woman and want him to join in at some point, with the focus on me.

A: Congratulations! It sounds like a steamy, delicious escapade is up ahead!

While it might seem that it’s always guys who want threesome hookups, it’s actually one of women’s most common sex fantasies—and many enjoy them in reality, including me.

The main reason I love threesomes is similar to your curiosity—I enjoy playing in bed with women. It’s also a huge turn on for me to see a man get hyper aroused, and that definitely happens when he sees two women together.

Once a couple has decided to go forward with a threesome, it can be tricky to find the right fit for the third. Couples don’t always feel attracted to the same people, or one wants to use a willing flame or an ex or a friend, and the other doesn’t see that as a good idea.

To couples just starting to experiment with multiple partners, I encourage them to avoid the complications of having a threesome with someone you already know. You and your bestie might end up having the time of your lives, but it can turn sour fast, changing your relationship or creating a new one between her and your husband. This kind of scenario CAN work, but it usually doesn’t, so I would look for a horny stranger on a threesome dating site like FindaThreesome.com.

You and your husband can both get revved up going over profiles together and looking for potential connections where you both find the woman attractive and interesting. You will also meet women who are looking for the same kind of sexual experimentation that you are, instead of risking striking out with women you already know. It’s good to keep your private life private as you embark on these exciting new experiences.

I can’t tell much from your note, but there is a slight feeling of reluctance on your husband’s part when you say “me mostly.” It’s great when women initiate sexual adventures and take ownership of their sexual fantasies and lead the way. It can really increase the intimacy and excitement between you. Just make sure to check in with his feelings throughout the process and demonstrate clearly that this is something you are experiencing together, not something that you are doing with him tagging along.

Your sexual journey can be a great source of pleasure and stimulation for him if he doesn’t feel shut out. Make sure you don’t neglect him in your excitement and in the novelty, and give him lots of one-on-one sex to show him the benefits of participating in your horny fantasies.

Let us know how it goes!

Hookup Help is a Q&A series. If you want advice or a female’s perspective on hooking up, online dating, relationships, or sex, we want to hear from you. SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION, and who knows, you may appear in the next Hookup Land newsletter.

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