The Difference Between a Hookup and a First Date

Is It Over Yet?

Some hookups can get to feel like waiting in a Wal-Mart checkout line on Black Friday, lasting so long you start to worry about getting cankles before cashing out.

Chances are you certainly don’t hookup with someone expecting it to be a drag; but, post-orgasm, reality sets in:

• Despite the sex, there was no personal connection.
• It was actually a mercy fuck, so, nice date that you are, you put in some obligatory time.
• You’re being guilt-tripped into hanging around.

How awkward.

Here’s the thing: whether or not you’re crazy about your new hookup is irrelevant if he/she doesn’t share your feelings. Don’t start making someone feel icky with any sort of neediness. It’s unfair, and ultimately embarrassing for everyone—not to mention unattractive.

Try this instead:

• Don’t beg for contact information. Maybe they’re not interested in another hookup. Offer your contact info instead.
• Don’t beg for another date. Tell them you’d like to hook up again, and leave it in their hands.
• Don’t beg them to stay. There’ll be no more hookups if you sink into desperation.

I know, I know, it can sometimes be hard not to get excited about someone. But you gotta remember they hooked up with you for a quickie—it wasn’t anyone’s intention to get “feelings” involved. If all goes well, respect the aforementioned considerations to allow whatever time is needed to evolve it into something more. Otherwise, don’t confuse a hookup with a formal date.

This kind of scenario happens plenty with those who are new to the hookup scene. Feeling nervous or awkward, they compensate by trying to be as “social” and “welcoming” as possible. It’s not necessary. Save the chat for when you get married. Trust me, after feeling like a big loser a few times, you’ll get the hang of it.

The last thing you want is to be unprepared for the day your new hookup, while bolting out your door, says, “Thanks for the fuck. Gotta run.”

Think your emotional armor can withstand that?

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