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5 Common Threesome Pitfalls to Avoid

Guy with Two Girlfriends

Meeting a couple online for a naughty ménage à trois can be exciting—or disastrous.

Don’t let the horror stories hold you back from fulfilling your fantasies. Learn from the complaints you hear—or experience yourself—to make sure you avoid these common threesome pitfalls.

5 Threesome Pitfalls to Avoid

1. Drinking too Much

Meeting your lovers over drinks usually makes sense. After all, cruising in bars is a nearly universal practice, and we all loosen up with some booze.

But don’t overdo it, and don’t let booze make decisions for you. If you’re one of those guys who acts like a jackass after a few, stay home.

Most mature adults can handle themselves, of course, but an awful lot of experimenting takes place after college pub nights or at sexy nightclubs with VIP bottle service.

The last thing you want to do is throw up in the middle of your dream date—it’s been known to happen, trust me! You also don’t want to forget the delicious details.

Another consideration is HER limits. If she’s wasted, her consent is worthless.

2. Raising Expectations without Boundaries

A threesome doesn’t mean anything goes all the time.

Think in advance of what you want and whatt you are willing to consent to.

Be flexible and accommodating—it’s not your way or the highway. Just because you’ve always dreamed of watching your partner take a big cock doesn’t mean you have to have your ass deflowered by her other boyfriend the first time you’re all naked.

3. Choosing an Ex or Acquaintance as a Third

When two lovers are looking for a unicorn, it can be tempting to call an ex who you know would want to play. Think twice, though, about summoning an ex, whether yours or hers. Sometimes ex sex works out great—but it can be an emotional disaster for one, two, or all three of you. Proceed with caution.

Similarly, someone like a sexy-coworker or flirty neighbor should also be avoided. With so many niche dating sites catering to singles and couples looking for threesomes, there’s no reason to choose someone you already know.

4. Taking your primary partner for granted.

One common reason why even adventurous, kinky, bisexual women often refuse a threeway is that you seem disinterested in one-on-one sex after.

A woman is totally turned off if she shares a torrid fantasy with you, and then all you talk about is the threesome, the other woman, and the possibility of another threesome.

It’s normal that you are so turned on by the experience that it’s all you think about for a while. But think about how it feels for her to share something so exciting with you, and then instead of you feeling satisfied and grateful, you are jumping up and down for more.

A woman won’t want another threesome with you, and she might not want to be with you at all, if you become obsessed with the subject. It’s no fun for a woman to make love to a man if he’s not present and is only interested in the next threeway.

5. Shutting down after a disaster.

Practice makes perfect, whether we’re talking about baking bread, learning to salsa, or having hot threesome sex. Have realistic expectations and keep the mood light. Find partners you get along with and can be relaxed and communicate openly with. Suggest that you all get together a few times because early attempts can be awkward.

If you have a threesome disaster, don’t let that stop you from making beautiful music with other lovers. It’s not just about chemistry, but about getting comfortable and communicating. You don’t stop dating because of a bad date, so if a threesome goes wrong, plan another one.

What’s a threesome pitfall you’ve experienced? How did you cope?

Tell us what you think!

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