Hookup Help

Hookup Help: Finding a Third for a Threesome

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Q: Hi Jenny. My girlfriend and I are interested in finding a woman for a threesome. We’ve run down a list of our female friends, but none of them fit both our criteria which includes attractiveness, submissive personality, and unattached. We go out occasionally to bars but neither of us are into the club scene as we’re a bit older, early forties. Since we met on a dating site, we’re open to that route and wonder if there are any online sites for this kind of thing. We’re also open to an ongoing arrangement if we meet the right person. – Dale

A: Hi Dale. I find it difficult to meet men for hookups and relationships without the help of dating sites – and I’m a social person! It’s nice to hear from a couple who are both interested in a threesome, but I will say: stay away from your friends for sexual relations. Not only can this get complicated, you could lose a good friend in the process. Plus you risk your sexual exploits being broadcast within your social circle.

Because you already know what you want, the best route is to use an adult online dating site to meet your third. There are now sites specifically designed for every niche interest imaginable, including threesomes. FindHookups.com is a site that caters to couples and singles looking for no-strings flings. They offer free chat rooms and access to member video feeds so you can get a taste before deciding if it’s the place for you.

Another site that may be helpful in your quest is BDSMDate.com. I say this because you mention your interest in a woman with a submissive personality. If you and your gal want a little kink added to the mix, this site has a huge membership whose interests include every fetish and kink you can think of.

If you do decide to join one of these sites, create a profile together which will explain exactly what you are looking for. This will keep you both in the selection process and help to hurry things along.

Because you are interested in a possible long-term arrangement with a third, perhaps you are headed in the polyamory direction. You can read: Profile Writing Tips for Poly Couples.

Good luck, Dale! If readers have any other helpful hints for finding a third, please share in the comments.

Hookup Help is a Q & A series. If you want advice or a female’s perspective on hooking up, online dating, relationships, or sex… we want to hear from you. SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Hookupland newsletter. -xo Jenny

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