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Hookup Help: Cunnilingus Tips

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Q: I’m very experienced with pleasing a woman. But sometimes when I ask what she likes, I don’t always get an answer. Is it due to her just not knowing what she really likes?

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Also, I would like more feedback on cunnilingus. I like to take my time while I’m pleasing a women. I go very slow, starting with the nipples and gently kissing my way to the vulva. I like sucking and kissing the inner  thigh where the leg meets the vigina, before making my way to the labia majora and labia minora. Pulling and sucking them into my mouth, flicking them with my tongue, and then making my way to the clit. I love sucking, licking and teasing the clit, but I want to know more on how I can make her cum. I want to know the technique to make her squirt. – M

A: Dear M. I like your confidence as a lover. I also like that you ask a woman what she likes, because it’s important not to assume a person’s individual sexual preferences. The no-response response may be because a woman is shy or uncomfortable talking about what she likes, or that she really doesn’t know what she likes. If gentle coaxing won’t get her talking, you may have to rely on body language during sex to gauge what turns her on—how she responds with movements, words and moans, to your actions.

Your oral technique sounds wonderful. I wish more men were as slow and focused. Arousal really works best when there is a gradual buildup, and thus leads to a better female orgasm. But again, what a woman likes and makes her orgasm is very individual. I’ve had men who could make me cum from oral and others who couldn’t. It was definitely more successful with men who love going down. A woman can see that her satisfaction is also yours!

The fact that you seem to love cunnilingus tells me you are probably good at making most ladies cum. I like to always remind men to use their hands at the same time as their mouth. Other ideas to enhance the oral experience is to use a bullet vibrator as well as your tongue, or include a little anal play. Try the 69 position. I find having a man’s cock in my mouth while he licks and sucks my pussy such an intense experience. It’s a great avenue to double orgasm too!

If you want to try and make her ejaculate (squirt) you’ll want to become familiar with her g-spot. If you insert your index and middle finger into her pussy, and gently curl them up and towards you, you will feel something the size of a quarter that has the texture of a walnut (my best way to describe it.) You can try massaging this while giving oral, or be in a position where it is stimulated through intercourse.

I’ve tried to squirt on my own and with a couple partners. It’s never worked, and to be honest, I don’t care. I think men are much more interested in the concept than women. We want to cum, not spray liquid that often feels like it’s part pee. Hopefully you’re not relying on porn for your squirting beliefs. The best sex is real and nothing like what you see in porn.

Readers, if you have any squirting tips, please share in the comments!

Hookup Help is a Q&A series. If you want advice or a female’s perspective on hooking up, online dating, relationships, or sex… we want to hear from you. SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION, and who knows, you may appear in the next Hookup Land newsletter. -xo Holly and Tia

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