If given the choice between a hollow theatrical effort or the toe-curling, afterglow-inducing resplendence of a genuine orgasm, who wouldn’t choose the later?
Men and women alike obviously prefer the real deal, and yet the world is rife with fake female orgasms. Why is that?
Society Expects Things
In the timeless words of Ludacris, a woman should aspire to be “a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets.” Unfortunately, this expectation puts a lot of pressure on women to be the kind of nasty girl that men are supposed to desire, hence the prevalence of fake orgasms.
Try not to reinforce the stereotypes. Accept that your partner might prefer to be a lady all the time, or a freak all the time, or any other combination of countless complexities that make her more than just a walking vagina.
There’s a Lack of Communication
Maybe your partner doesn’t really know what she needs between the sheets… or maybe she knows full well but doesn’t feel comfortable enough to tell you. If the two of you aren’t big on communicating, she might just find it easier to fake it and be done with it.
One thing that you can do to help is open up about your own needs and fantasies. Make yourself a little bit vulnerable so that your partner feels more inclined to do the same.
She’s Bored or Just Not Feeling it
The absence of sexual variety can lead to a kind of habitual give and take that sometimes includes faking it. Perhaps your partner is no longer into that thing you do but doesn’t want to be upfront about it for fear that you won’t be receptive to ideas and feedback.
Be open to trying new things in bed. Try not to get stuck in a routine. Also accept that sometimes your partner isn’t going to have a loud, thunderous orgasm and that’s okay. She’s not a porn star.
Your Ego Is Fragile
When she lets out those unmistakable cries of ecstasy, your ego shoots up a few notches, doesn’t it? That’s because you’ve been conditioned to feel that real men know how to please a woman and that when she cums, you’ve done your job. But what if I told you that your partner’s orgasm has less to do with your sexual abilities and more to do with the delicate interaction of physical and emotional factors occurring within her body and mind?
In short, don’t make it all about the orgasm. Focus more on the path to reaching it and less on the end result. Try not to express disappointment in yourself or your partner if she doesn’t cum as a result of your efforts.
I strongly believe that the frequency of fake orgasms would diminish if we all just admitted that what we expect from one another in terms of sexual performance is pure bullshit. Just be genuine in your actions and enjoy the ride.