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The Art of the One Night Stand: Grooming Tips to Get Laid

Grooming to Get Laid

In Part 1 of The Art of the One Night Stand I wrote about preparing your home for a sexy night. In this series, I’m speaking plainly about how to get your date thinking of nothing else but coming home with you once the small talk’s over and last call has passed.

Guys: I’ve been online dating for an awful long time now, and let me tell you, the majority of my dates have been a wash.  Depending on my state of mind and priorities at the time, I was hoping for anything from a sweet romantic evening, possibly leading to a string of these and on to a budding romance…to a single, glorious night of straight-up, banging-hot sex.  When the latter imperative reigned, I can say that I got what I wanted about 10% of the time.  This, even after careful and thoughtful messaging/screening of my date beforehand, and all signs pointing toward chances of finding the requisite and elusive chemistry needed for a great screw.  And even after my showing up for the date in question looking and feeling hot, sexy underthings on and pre-date drink drunk.  Eyes bright, breath fresh, on not-quite-my-best behavior.  More ready than ever for a romp.

What fizzled my sexual appetite on these well-prepped for rendez-vous?  Well, admittedly sometimes I just didn’t find my date attractive face-to-face (though this has a lot to do with intellect and charisma, at least for me.)  More than once, hygiene was the culprit.  But on many occasions,  I was put-off by how either too-cold or too-hot the man of the hour acted toward me, causing my panties to quickly dry up, and prompting me to nip the evening in the bud.

Part 2: Grooming – (It boggles my mind to think I even need to mention this, but it can’t be stressed often enough, so don’t skip this section, even if you think you’ve got it right.)

1. Your mouth is of key importance.  I am sitting across from you, staring at it as you speak to me, trying to decide if I want to put my tongue in there.  So get gleamy: floss, brush, and keep those handy Listerine Strips in your pocket and use them.  Seriously.  Chewing gum like a cow mashes its cud is not a good look, but catching a whiff of a date’s fresh breath is always alluring.

2. Shower, right before our date.  I don’t care how busy your day was – if you smell like where you’ve been and what (who?) you’ve done, I’m not gonna think you cared enough to make a great impression, and you can bet I’m clean as a whistle.  Everywhere.  And if I’m contemplating touching more than your tongue with my own, I want to assume the same about you.

3. I’m much more likely to be attracted by your natural pheromones than your taste in cologne.  We do all know this, right?  Well, now I’ve told you, so there’s no excuse to bathe in Axe like an insecure, acne-prone fourteen-year-old.  If you must add fragrance, spritz your chest/neck once BEFORE you put your shirt on, and walk around your apartment for about ten minutes before dressing.  Alternately, spritz once, then take a towel and rub off a lot of the scent, so it’s very very subtle.  And obvi: deodorant is a must.  As for any other products, do what you will, but a good rule of thumb is that I shouldn’t be able to detect them.  I might want to run my hands through your hair later, and if I think I’ll risk impalement on gel-hardened locks, it’s probably not going to happen.

4. Wear clean, decent shoes.  Women notice, and care about this.  I have no idea why, but we do.

Click these links for more tips on The Art of the One Night Stand:

Part 1: Preparing the Sex Cave

Part 3: Touching and Flirting

Part 4: From Date to Hookup

Part 5: No Strings Attached

 

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