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Sex with Virgins: Why It Isn’t All That

Couple Making Out on Couch

It’s been a long time since I’ve had sex with a virgin.

When I was younger, fucking a virgin was a likely scenario. Most folks don’t start doing the full-nasty until high-school’s done. So virgins were a-plenty. Having sex with one in those days was a notch in the belt.

Now I avoid it. Too much responsibility.

It took me a while, but I finally came to realize the effect Our First Fuck has on us. Goodness knows I still recall how terrible my first time was. You carry it with you forever, good or bad.

Here’s my issue:

I’m one of these people who has zero hangups about sex, casual or otherwise. I don’t carry baggage, and I have no expectations other than a desire to have a good time. Virgins require delicacy, patience, instruction, and a whole bunch of reassurances. They’re often preoccupied with safety (a valid concern, but one so easily addressed it shouldn’t be a distraction).

Most of all, if the experience didn’t traumatize them, a virgin could develop both a strong emotional and psychological attachment. Understandably so—after all, they just had their cherry broken, who wouldn’t be fixated on it?

I hate sounding mean, but I just don’t want that responsibility. It makes me feel obligated. In fairness to the virgin, the obligation isn’t unwarranted: Our First Fuck is so significant in our lives that follow-up helps us to “land safely”, and not feel as though we’ve been used. But how much is owed? Is there ever a respectable amount of time whereby we can say, “Hope that was as good as you’d imagined all your life. Gotta go!”

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This is all just me. There’s always been a notion (among guys, anyway) that fucking a virgin is a coup. But I find that impulse sexist and inappropriate. Let newbies fuck newbies. Let them learn together.

Then…once they’ve had a taste, have gotten over their hangups, and have reached the point of prowling for further exploration and experience, that’s when I’m first in line to be of service.

A virgin is one thing—a novice something else.

Also read: Tips for Hookup Virgins

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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