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Wake Me Up Before You Swallow

I’ve been on the dating scene long enough to know that some girls either refrain from swallowing altogether cuz they find it off-putting, or they swallow but only because they know it’s wanted/expected/whatever. Yawn.

Other girls — of which there are plenty — approach swallowing with the same Olympic zeal as they would any other sex trick that makes getting naked and dirty so much fun. I date those ones, and make no apologies about it.

This post is for the latter (no doubt the former will have surfed-away by now). Maybe you’re already a cum-swallowing pro, in which case I encourage you to read on if only for fun. But maybe you’re still sharpening your game, in which case you might dig the virtuoso techniques described below.

The concept is this: swallowing is one thing — where you catch the cum before it goes down the hatch is what separates you from the wannabes.

  • Don’t take it on the tongue when you can instead take it below the tongueOn the tongue spills, and is old-fashioned. Below is a little reservoir for safe-keeping and subsequent showing-off.
  • Don’t take it on the cheeks when you can instead take it inside the cheeks.On the cheeks is so boring it might as well be a handjob. Better to hook your index finger into your cheek and pull your mouth open. Look him in the eyes while you’re doing this, btw.
  • Don’t take it directly into your throat when you can instead intercept it with your teeth. A direct swallow is such a non-event I’d almost prefer to skip it and get right to the post-cum snooze. But teeth clamped shut and offered up for a cum-smear is nothing short of perfection— especially if the cockhead is subsequently used to give those pearly whites a polish before the swallow. No question, this one could be my desert island choice.

As for the spinster-cocksuckers who try to pull the ol’ aim-it-at-the-floor-at-the-last-second-before-a-drop-of-cum-touches-them trick, well, the pros have a version of that one, too, also ranked high on the I Can’t Believe We Just Did That list:

Jerk the cum onto the floor, then get down on your hands and knees and lick it up.

See! There’s something for the whore in everyone!

And, for all your hard work and accommodation, any REAL man will snowball the leftovers with you.

Fetish: Cum Lovers!

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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